As she waited for whatever was about to happen to happen, all she could think about were the perfect lines that showed up on the caramel carpet of her childhood home as her mother vacuumed the floor. Nothing was ever perfect in her life, except for those damn lines. She regrets never telling her mother how wonderful she was at operating the vacuum cleaner.
Movie Idea #002
"He will never get a hug again, or fall in love. Sad."
Vernon and Vernon Jr. just finished watching Cruel Intentions.
They loved it.
Movie Idea #001
"obviously it’s not a comedy"
Dave immediately regrets stabbing his lawyer’s cactus.
IT’S REALLY SAD
When she was five years old her father was murdered by a drunken astronaut on a roller coaster in Tennessee. When she was seven years old her mother was murdered by a drunken magician on a ferris wheel in Nebraska. She now spends her weekends in a cheap astronaut costume performing lackluster escape acts in California. It’s really sad.
Bunko and Baby Winks exit their top secret bamboo garden. The top secret password to enter their top secret bamboo garden is “I like your bass, your beat is nice, hell yes”.
GUMMY BEAR CITY
As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.