orhaun asked: what if you get drunk and forget to upload your stuff to tumblr?
Actually, this has happened several times before and here’s how we fix it…
Vicki finds me face down in some shrubbery wearing only my underpants and a furball hat.
Vicki: “Duuude, you totally forgot to post to tumblr”
Me: “Duuuude, no way, am I in suck city?”
Vicki: “Duuude, we should totally build the world’s most unreliable time machine and go back in time and fix this!”
Me: “Duuude, that’s totally the best idea ever! I don’t even wanna install seat belts!!!”
So that’s basically how we do it.
MY MAN
I’m not quite sure what’s going on here, but I think that at some point Wolverine ripped my man’s face off, yet somehow my man kept it real and ripped Wolverine’s arm off.
Either way, my man > Wolverine.
(Taken with instagram)
AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A MOSS BALL PARTY!
Just ask Dale the snail.
(Taken with instagram)
STUFF FAMOUS PEOPLE PROBABLY SAY
So this just happened.
All I can say is tonight’s probably the biggest night of Ted Danson’s life.
If by chance you follow along (which I would not recommend, but if you do) you’ll get to see a picture of Vicki’s cute little face on your dashboard every time a post is made!
HOLY SMOKES!!!
Big high fives and hugs to The Huffington Post for being duped into thinking that My Daily Journal Thing qualifies as actual “art”!!! My mom is literally going to flip her pancakes when she sees this!!!
Thank you Kia for the most exposure my “art” is sure to ever get!!! I love you man! Vicki and I will be eating Pizza and Cookie Dough Ice Cream tonight in your honor!
(via Tanner Almon’s MyDailyJournalThing: Artist’s Daily Doodles Draw Big Acclaim)
Tumblr Fam. Exciting news today: HuffPost Arts has a lunch time IM conversation with Tanner Almon, of mydailyjournalthing.tumblr.com. We chatted about chicken teriyaki, Vicki, Parks and Rec and more.
TYPICAL FRIDAY MORNING
I seriously doubt those shoes provide much, if any, arch support. Also, they kind of look like bags. I’ll be sticking with my New Balance until it’s Old Unbalanced, thank you very much yes sir!
(Taken with instagram)
[video]
BEARD PATROL MINUS ONE REUNION TOUR
Once upon a time I was in a toy instrument band known as “Beard Patrol”. Along with Nick “Money Train” Prevas and Geoff “Thunder Thumbs” Thomas, we took Baltimore by storm one night in Geoff’s basement. Our first two hits were “Cowboy Shirt” and “My Mom’s Ex Boyfriends”.
“My Mom’s Ex-Boy Friends” was literally about my mom’s ex-boyfriends, with a heavy emphasis on Pam Boyfriend number three, the legendary Perry Bowser (I kid you not, that was his real name). Perry Bowser wrote a particularly randy message to my mom in her high school year book involving ice cubes and a shower cap.
Anyway, after the unparalleled success of “My Mom’s Ex-Boyfriends” we obviously had to have a gigantic falling out over a midnight Pancake Breakfast at Denny’s. Beard Patrol was no more.
“Money Train” went on to invent a cozy winter cap that served as a coffee mug in case of emergency, “Thunder Thumbs” parlayed his moniker into a lucrative gig as a thumb model for J.C. Penny’s (which ended tragically when he scalded both of his thumbs in an attempt to use “Money Trains” emergency coffee mug), and I started a tumblr and got Vicki pregnant.
Anyway, a few weeks ago “Money Train” and I had a Beard Patrol mini-reunion tour in my mom’s hallway. “Thunder Thumbs” boycotted the event and gave it two thumbs down on his very unpopular Wordpress blog.
And finally, in case you were wondering, my nickname was Tanner “Butter Beard” Almon.
NO STRANGER TO DANGER
That’s what my shirt says, although you probably can’t read it due to low quality VHS camera we used to record this. Vicki made me the shirt for my birthday around five or ten years ago. Pictured above the text is an illustration of my goldfish Bert, who had bravely driven cross country with us shortly before these shirts were made. RIP.
The place Vicki ordered the shirts from had a minimum order of ten, so I actually have ten of these awesome shirts in a fun assortment of colors.
The best thing I ever gave Vicki for her birthday was a set of sharpies.
Vicki > Tanner
FUTURE PANTS
Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.
Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.
(Taken with instagram)