MAGICAL MOSSBALLS

A few months back I purchased these mossballs from the back of some hippie’s van in Williamsburg. Ever since then amazing things have been happening to me. Here’s the top nine…

1. My breakfast cereal, whether it be Apple Jacks or Kix, never gets soggy.

2. No one has touched my ear inappropriately on the subway.

3. All of my socks seem to be accounted for. Finally.

4. I stopped having dreams about Vicki dressed as Wolverine devouring all my Sunday morning pancakes.

5. Vicki finally admitted that “The Zissou” might be a good name for our pending baby.

6. Vicki got a “body pillow” which means I inherited one of her regular pillows!

7. My mom finally invited me to one of her Super Mario Dance Parties where everyone swings their arms from side to side.

8. No one has yet to invent a cozy winter cap that converts into a coffee mug in case of emergency, which means I still have a chance to blow the minds of millions.

9. Vicki can’t seem to stop touching my ear inappropriately. Ohhh yeah! 

VICKI BUILDS A “JET FIRE” GLIDER

Nothing funny, clever, ironic, or witty about this one. Just my awesome wife, Vicki, demonstrating how to build and tame a “Jet Fire” Glider. Ameila Earhart would be proud. 

Actually, the ending is kind of funny because the Glider clearly crashes.

My favorite part is when she talks about “the canopy, with the little pilot inside”.

Finally, I’m not sure if I mentioned this here before, but the reason I married Vicki had nothing to do with her pretty elbows or yummy earlobes, it was all about her insane glider making skills.

mydailyjournalthing
MY JOURNAL ENTRY OF THE WEEK - “BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY”
Although my literal interpretation of Bees Knees was a close runner up, I liked this one best for three reasons…
1. I like how the little girls are each holding coffee mugs. 
2. I like that the “Success” motivational poster portrays a cat riding in a tank.
3. I kind of like my idea about taking portraits of folks chewing on pens. I had two terrible experiences in high school where pen ink exploded all over my face without me realizing it, and while it sort of sucked at the time, I think it would’ve made a pretty good portrait.
Anyway, if you’d like to see more of my daily journal entries click here. Most of em are mediocre at best, but whatever, it’s cool.

MY JOURNAL ENTRY OF THE WEEK - “BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY”

Although my literal interpretation of Bees Knees was a close runner up, I liked this one best for three reasons…

1. I like how the little girls are each holding coffee mugs. 

2. I like that the “Success” motivational poster portrays a cat riding in a tank.

3. I kind of like my idea about taking portraits of folks chewing on pens. I had two terrible experiences in high school where pen ink exploded all over my face without me realizing it, and while it sort of sucked at the time, I think it would’ve made a pretty good portrait.

Anyway, if you’d like to see more of my daily journal entries click here. Most of em are mediocre at best, but whatever, it’s cool.

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH TANNER’S TANK
EPISODE 01: “SHY BEGINNINGS”
So here’s a few pictures of my fish tank project so far. I’d thought by now my fish would come out and let me photograph them, but no, they’re still hiding out in the damn corner like a gang of Baltimore drug dealers. The guy at the fish store told me that they came directly from an Amazonian River and are thus “completely freaked the hell out” by captivity.
So yeah, I guess for now these wide shots are gonna have to do. On behalf of my pack of shy drug dealing cardinal tetras, I offer my sincerest apologies for lack of glorious close up fish shots.





Note to self: Get a MACRO lens!!!
Also, sometimes I see Bunko hangin’ out by the back left corner of the tank. Say it ain’t so Bunko, say it ain’t so!

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH TANNER’S TANK

EPISODE 01: “SHY BEGINNINGS”

So here’s a few pictures of my fish tank project so far. I’d thought by now my fish would come out and let me photograph them, but no, they’re still hiding out in the damn corner like a gang of Baltimore drug dealers. The guy at the fish store told me that they came directly from an Amazonian River and are thus “completely freaked the hell out” by captivity.

So yeah, I guess for now these wide shots are gonna have to do. On behalf of my pack of shy drug dealing cardinal tetras, I offer my sincerest apologies for lack of glorious close up fish shots.

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Note to self: Get a MACRO lens!!!

Also, sometimes I see Bunko hangin’ out by the back left corner of the tank. Say it ain’t so Bunko, say it ain’t so!

THRITY FREAKIN’ TWO
So Vicki just reminded me that today is my thirty second birthday. This was my reaction. 
Anyway, I had planned on spending the day as my normal grumpy-grump self struggling to learn Adobe After Effects, but Vicki has convinced me to leave the apartment to go get some fish for the aquarium I got for my birthday exactly one year ago today. That’s right, there’s been a 30-gallon fish tank, full of water mind you, sitting fish-less and plant-less for 365 days in the corner of our living room. That tank is a true testament to just how lazy I can be when I put my mind to something. Here’s a picture that pretty much sums up the complete failure of my 31st year on earth…

Anyway, if by chance I’m following you, and you just realized that I’m old enough to be your dad, feel free to let me know if you’d prefer that I un-follow you. It’s bad enough I’m an old lazy dude, I sure as hell don’t want to be a creepy old lazy dude. 
Also, go Baltimore Orioles!

THRITY FREAKIN’ TWO

So Vicki just reminded me that today is my thirty second birthday. This was my reaction. 

Anyway, I had planned on spending the day as my normal grumpy-grump self struggling to learn Adobe After Effects, but Vicki has convinced me to leave the apartment to go get some fish for the aquarium I got for my birthday exactly one year ago today. That’s right, there’s been a 30-gallon fish tank, full of water mind you, sitting fish-less and plant-less for 365 days in the corner of our living room. That tank is a true testament to just how lazy I can be when I put my mind to something. Here’s a picture that pretty much sums up the complete failure of my 31st year on earth…

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Anyway, if by chance I’m following you, and you just realized that I’m old enough to be your dad, feel free to let me know if you’d prefer that I un-follow you. It’s bad enough I’m an old lazy dude, I sure as hell don’t want to be a creepy old lazy dude. 

Also, go Baltimore Orioles!

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 19 - “LITTLE SHRIMP CREATURE FROM HELL”
This was the only worthwhile picture that I took while inside the Kochi aquarium and it took FOREVER because…
a. Vicki couldn’t hold the damn magnifying glass still
b. The little shrimp creature from hell wouldn’t stay still
c. I couldn’t figure out how to focus my my damn camera
Answer: Definitely not “c”, but I’m torn between “a” and “b”.
Also, I can neither confirm nor deny that this creature is in fact a shrimp. But what I can confirm is this… it is certainly, without a doubt, from HELL!!!

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 19 - “LITTLE SHRIMP CREATURE FROM HELL”

This was the only worthwhile picture that I took while inside the Kochi aquarium and it took FOREVER because…

a. Vicki couldn’t hold the damn magnifying glass still

b. The little shrimp creature from hell wouldn’t stay still

c. I couldn’t figure out how to focus my my damn camera

Answer: Definitely not “c”, but I’m torn between “a” and “b”.

Also, I can neither confirm nor deny that this creature is in fact a shrimp. But what I can confirm is this… it is certainly, without a doubt, from HELL!!!

PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”
Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.
Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.
I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 
Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.

PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”

Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.

Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.

I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 

Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.

STING RAY SUPER TUBE OF MINNOW MAGIC
Had one of these things existed when I was a kid my head would literally have exploded from “awesome overload”.
Seriously, I’m an old married dude and as I was walking through this tunnel I could literally feel the “awesome meter” in my brain getting close to the danger zone. Had a shark swam by in a Santa Hat my brain literally would have exploded and Vicki literally would have killed me.

STING RAY SUPER TUBE OF MINNOW MAGIC

Had one of these things existed when I was a kid my head would literally have exploded from “awesome overload”.

Seriously, I’m an old married dude and as I was walking through this tunnel I could literally feel the “awesome meter” in my brain getting close to the danger zone. Had a shark swam by in a Santa Hat my brain literally would have exploded and Vicki literally would have killed me.