20th August 2013

PERFECT LINES
As she waited for whatever was about to happen to happen, all she could think about were the perfect lines that showed up on the beige carpet of her childhood home as her mother vacuumed the floor. Nothing was ever perfect in her life, except for those damn lines. She regrets never telling her mother how wonderful she was at operating the vacuum cleaner. PERFECT LINES
As she waited for whatever was about to happen to happen, all she could think about were the perfect lines that showed up on the beige carpet of her childhood home as her mother vacuumed the floor. Nothing was ever perfect in her life, except for those damn lines. She regrets never telling her mother how wonderful she was at operating the vacuum cleaner.

PERFECT LINES

As she waited for whatever was about to happen to happen, all she could think about were the perfect lines that showed up on the beige carpet of her childhood home as her mother vacuumed the floor. Nothing was ever perfect in her life, except for those damn lines. She regrets never telling her mother how wonderful she was at operating the vacuum cleaner.

 ·  49 notes

13th July 2013

GUMMY BEAR CITY
As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye. GUMMY BEAR CITY
As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.

GUMMY BEAR CITY

As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.

 ·  13 notes

10th July 2013

SPACE COFFEE
As Dave and Wendy sat in Dave’s “research” van eating space breakfast (space toast and space syrup), Dave decided to brew up some space coffee. Unfortunately he made the brew way too strong… so strong, in fact, that it blew the space coffee pot’s hermetic seal. “Dammit Dave! The hermetic seal’s been breached! We be doomed my man!” 
Dave clumsily tried to clog the leak with space syrup, but it was too late, the space coffee’s stale aroma had already permeated the perimeter and awakened the hibernating skelebots*.
And thus so began the Great Skelebot Uprising of 1989. As a particularly cranky skelebot battled Wendy for her space mug full of stale space coffee, Dave attempted to phone ground control. Regrettably, Dave’s fingers, still covered in sticky space syrup, made this task more or less impossible. Wendy was abducted and Dave was left for dead (with a phone stuck to his hand).
* A skelebot is a creature, most likely from hell, that has the head of a robot and the body of a human skeleton. They enjoy space coffee, 80’s New Wave, and animated GIFs. SPACE COFFEE
As Dave and Wendy sat in Dave’s “research” van eating space breakfast (space toast and space syrup), Dave decided to brew up some space coffee. Unfortunately he made the brew way too strong… so strong, in fact, that it blew the space coffee pot’s hermetic seal. “Dammit Dave! The hermetic seal’s been breached! We be doomed my man!” 
Dave clumsily tried to clog the leak with space syrup, but it was too late, the space coffee’s stale aroma had already permeated the perimeter and awakened the hibernating skelebots*.
And thus so began the Great Skelebot Uprising of 1989. As a particularly cranky skelebot battled Wendy for her space mug full of stale space coffee, Dave attempted to phone ground control. Regrettably, Dave’s fingers, still covered in sticky space syrup, made this task more or less impossible. Wendy was abducted and Dave was left for dead (with a phone stuck to his hand).
* A skelebot is a creature, most likely from hell, that has the head of a robot and the body of a human skeleton. They enjoy space coffee, 80’s New Wave, and animated GIFs.

SPACE COFFEE

As Dave and Wendy sat in Dave’s “research” van eating space breakfast (space toast and space syrup), Dave decided to brew up some space coffee. Unfortunately he made the brew way too strong… so strong, in fact, that it blew the space coffee pot’s hermetic seal. “Dammit Dave! The hermetic seal’s been breached! We be doomed my man!” 

Dave clumsily tried to clog the leak with space syrup, but it was too late, the space coffee’s stale aroma had already permeated the perimeter and awakened the hibernating skelebots*.

And thus so began the Great Skelebot Uprising of 1989. As a particularly cranky skelebot battled Wendy for her space mug full of stale space coffee, Dave attempted to phone ground control. Regrettably, Dave’s fingers, still covered in sticky space syrup, made this task more or less impossible. Wendy was abducted and Dave was left for dead (with a phone stuck to his hand).

* A skelebot is a creature, most likely from hell, that has the head of a robot and the body of a human skeleton. They enjoy space coffee, 80’s New Wave, and animated GIFs.

 ·  207 notes

6th July 2013

THE AIR IS OXYGEN GENIUS
After Wendy and Dave had finished collecting all of their specimens for the day, they decided to compete in an all out tug of war. The stakes were quite high, as the winner was to receive the looser’s hermetically sealed helmet. Wendy’s solid core propelled her to an easy victory, and Dave reluctantly detached his hermetically sealed helmet. Moments later he was face down in the mud, apparently dead. Wendy waited a few seconds and kicked him in the head. He screamed “DAMN WENDY! Why’d you kick my head? Am I in hell?”. Wendy replied, “The air is oxygen genius. You only passed out because you were holding your breath like damn fool. Pull yourself together man.” Dave pretended to pull himself together, but deep inside he knew that he was in hell. THE AIR IS OXYGEN GENIUS
After Wendy and Dave had finished collecting all of their specimens for the day, they decided to compete in an all out tug of war. The stakes were quite high, as the winner was to receive the looser’s hermetically sealed helmet. Wendy’s solid core propelled her to an easy victory, and Dave reluctantly detached his hermetically sealed helmet. Moments later he was face down in the mud, apparently dead. Wendy waited a few seconds and kicked him in the head. He screamed “DAMN WENDY! Why’d you kick my head? Am I in hell?”. Wendy replied, “The air is oxygen genius. You only passed out because you were holding your breath like damn fool. Pull yourself together man.” Dave pretended to pull himself together, but deep inside he knew that he was in hell.

THE AIR IS OXYGEN GENIUS

After Wendy and Dave had finished collecting all of their specimens for the day, they decided to compete in an all out tug of war. The stakes were quite high, as the winner was to receive the looser’s hermetically sealed helmet. Wendy’s solid core propelled her to an easy victory, and Dave reluctantly detached his hermetically sealed helmet. Moments later he was face down in the mud, apparently dead. Wendy waited a few seconds and kicked him in the head. He screamed “DAMN WENDY! Why’d you kick my head? Am I in hell?”. Wendy replied, “The air is oxygen genius. You only passed out because you were holding your breath like damn fool. Pull yourself together man.” Dave pretended to pull himself together, but deep inside he knew that he was in hell.

 ·  14 notes

5th July 2013

COIL TURMOIL
As Dave reluctantly reached into the piranha infested waters to pick up the metal coil, he thought to himself “Is this really what I should be doing with my life, I went to college, I have a reliable van, why the hell am I sitting in piranha infested waters in a thrift store space suit?”. As he gazed into the reflection of his pathetic existence, he decided not to pick up the tetanus infested coil. He said “See Ya Wendy” and hopped into his van, which wouldn’t start. Wendy called a tow truck. COIL TURMOIL
As Dave reluctantly reached into the piranha infested waters to pick up the metal coil, he thought to himself “Is this really what I should be doing with my life, I went to college, I have a reliable van, why the hell am I sitting in piranha infested waters in a thrift store space suit?”. As he gazed into the reflection of his pathetic existence, he decided not to pick up the tetanus infested coil. He said “See Ya Wendy” and hopped into his van, which wouldn’t start. Wendy called a tow truck.

COIL TURMOIL

As Dave reluctantly reached into the piranha infested waters to pick up the metal coil, he thought to himself “Is this really what I should be doing with my life, I went to college, I have a reliable van, why the hell am I sitting in piranha infested waters in a thrift store space suit?”. As he gazed into the reflection of his pathetic existence, he decided not to pick up the tetanus infested coil. He said “See Ya Wendy” and hopped into his van, which wouldn’t start. Wendy called a tow truck.

 ·  19 notes

27th May 2011

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!”
So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project.

Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks!

Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks.

Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal? FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!”
So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project.

Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks!

Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks.

Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!”

So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project.

image

Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks!

image

Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks.

image

Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?

 ·  60 notes
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