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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
Posts tagged attitude
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IT’S REALLY SAD

When she was five years old her father was murdered by a drunken astronaut on a roller coaster in Tennessee. When she was seven years old her mother was murdered by a drunken magician on a ferris wheel in Nebraska. She now spends her weekends in a cheap astronaut costume performing lackluster escape acts in California. It’s really sad.

LUBELESS IN CALIFORNIA

His shorts are tight,

he’s outta lube,

but he’s alright,

he’s got the cube.

THIS IS THE STORY OF A CHAMPION

The room is red,

her glasses white,

her man is dead,

she won the fight.

AT LEAST SHE HAS SOMETHING TO CALL HER OWN

Feelin’ hot,

she wants to cuddle,

but all she’s got,

is a big wet puddle.

GOOD FOR HER

She got bad grades,

and might have aids,

but in her cherry shades,

she’s the ace of spades.

THE REAL DEAL

No plastic eyes,

or synthetic thighs,

but she can feel,

cause she is real.

GEOFF THE STRONGMAN

No woman + no job = no big deal for Geoff because he’s got a mom and a dream… a dream to be the best damn Strongman Baltimore has ever seen.

Behind-the-scenes: Geoff sleeps and showers in his blue hero helmet.  In fact, he only takes it off when he goes out to dinner with his mom.  At dinner he wears a viking helmet.

BALTIMORE BREAKUP

After winning 500 bucks in the lottery Geoff decided it was time to quit his job repairing furniture and pursue his dream of becoming a Carnival Strong Man. Dustin, his woman, did not share this dream.

Behind-the-Scenes: The green suitcase that Dustin is carrying has been in her family for generations.  According to her grandpa Herb it was once used to smuggle baby turtles into Canada.