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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
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Past Christmas Classics: RETRO SANTA ON GEOFF’S HEAD


This one’s pretty similar to the first one but I figured I’d post it for two reasons…

1. I’m rather fond of the title

2. It’s the only one left

Past Christmas Classics: SANTA SHAKEDOWN

In this scene The Santas can be seen initiating young Rudy into the gang. The initiation process involves forcing Rudy to eat lots of cookies and drink lots of milk while Uncle Santa films the whole thing.

As I look at this freeze frame I can’t help but think that it looks like some sort of scene from some underground “snuff” film. I literally feel “dirty” for having had anything to do with this.

Past Christmas Classics: “THREE BUDWEISMEN”

Pros: The weight bar with the milk jugs is a nice touch.

Cons: Whatever naked Ken & Barbie thing is happening on my friend Geoff

Past Christmas Classics: “THE CHRISTMAS COOLER CHASE”

I don’t even know how to describe this except to say that it’s with the same two partners in crime who were responsible for Santa Shakedown. My favorite part is the Santa that we duct taped to my Huffy.

Past Christmas Classics: SANTA SHAKEDOWN (behind-the-scenes polaroid)


There have been quite a few requests for Santa Shakedown to be posted here. By quite a few I mean 3 or 4.

Unfortunately it only exists right now on VHS at my friend Nick’s house. If it ever gets computerized I’ll post it here for sure, although I have my doubts that anyone would actually enjoy it. While you wait you should check out Nick’s website, it’s pretty awesome. See if you can find the painting he did of me and Vicki.

Past Christmas Classics: SANTA SHAKEDOWN (film stills)

A few years back I was home for the holidays in Maryland and decided to make an “in camera edited” movie with my friends Nick and Geoff.  By “in camera” I mean there were no second takes or editing allowed. Anyway, we spent an entire night shooting an epic film about two cops, DuPre and McTannen, attempting to bring down “The Santas”, a cheerful gang that was dealing illegal “cane”.

We shot the film on the worst VHS camera we could find and the three of us play every character in the film. The film ends with an intense cap gun shootout between the cops and the Santas where pretty much everyone dies except for DuPre and Uncle Santa. Fortunately McTannen returns as a half-robot in the sequel, Dirty Bunny. Yes, you read right, there is a sequel and it involves the Easter Bunny.

One day if you are all lucky I will post Santa Shakedown here in it’s entirety.


He likes to ride,

his santa sled,

and ignore his bride,

who’s alone in bed.


His mother lied,

and stole his drugs,

when she died,

he got her mugs.