SALESBABE AND A CHEVY NOVA
Vicki was none too thrilled when I made her wear my hat and jacket in this picture. Regardless, she hides her anger well and would obviously make a terrific used car salesman.
I mean salesbabe.
MY IPHONE SHOT OF THE WEEK: THE VINTAGE LAWN CHAIR
I liked this one because it reminded me of the chairs my uncles used to sit on at family get-togethers in the 1980s. Nowadays these types of chairs are hard to find… trust me, I’ve tried. All lawn chairs these days are molded plastic junk that’s got no soul. It really bums me out. I miss the 80s.
MY IPHONE SHOT OF THE WEEK - “SIDEWALKS GOT NO CHANCE AGAINST THEM URBAN PLANTS”
I liked this one best because it demonstrates how several species of urban plants were able to put aside their political and socioeconomic differences to come together and completely annihilate an entire segment of concrete sidewalk. F YEAH URBAN PLANTS!!!
THE TIME VICKI ALMOST ATE RIGBY
This one time Vicki and I got lost in a snow storm while walking Rigby. After about ten minutes Vicki’s tummy began to rumble and she suggested that we eat Rigby. Rigby quickly yelled “Damn woman! It’s only been ten minutes! At least eat some snow before you eat YOUR F-ING PUPPY!!!”. An awkward silence soon ensued where they both glared at me for support. Eventually I reluctantly mumbled “he’s kind of gotta point”.
I’ve been sleeping on the couch ever since.
MY IPHONE SHOT OF THE WEEK - LEANING TOWER OF CRATES
If this stack of gravity defying crates was moved to a gallery space at the MOMA it’d probably sell for a million bucks at Sotheby’s. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, but it’s definitely some sort of thing that makes me wonder about what the hell makes something art, and who should get the credit.
This is blowing my mind a little bit. I mean, I took this photo, but I’m definitely not the artist, that title belongs to whoever set up this awesome gravity defying stack of crates. But what’s crazy is that the person who set up these crates probably did so with no intent of creating “art”, but rather “trash”. I wonder how many regular folks have never gotten credit for their incredible temporary art installations.
Anyway, here’s a few more pictures of this most wonderful piece (artist unknown)…
If you’d like to see more of my daily iphone photos documenting other people’s inadvertent “street art” click here.
MY IPHONE SHOT OF THE WEEK - “THE CALM BEFORE THE CROTCHETY STORM”
I liked this one best because, contrary to popular belief, it proves that tennis and chess can actually peacefully coexist in Brooklyn. That it to say, peacefully coexist until a tennis ball smashes that chess board and the old man on the left grabs his folding chairs and unleashes a can of ballistic crotchetieness all up on those wannabe tennis hipsters.
To see more of my daily iphone photos click here.
Six hours left till midnight…
How many items on my daily to-do-list will I complete???
Will I find my socks? Will I find my watch? Will I invest in some pens that don’t smear? Will I spend some quality alone time with my fish? Will I spend some quality alone time with jealous Rigby? And most importantly, is it still possible to have bagels for breakfast???
Tune in HERE later tonight to find out!
MY IPHONE SHOT OF THE WEEK - “WAY TO BE A ONE-UPPER, WINDSHIELD”
Several months ago the broken bottle of Heineken (seen above) appointed himself the self-proclaimed “King of the Broken Stuff” between Dobbin and Banker streets. However, a few days ago this a-hole windshield decided to park himself right next to the “King”. The following conversation ensued…
Heineken: “Dude! Seriously? WTF!!!”
Heineken: “I’m the King of the Broken Stuff round these parts! Way to be a one-upper a-hole!!!”
Windshield: “How are we talking? We’re inanimate objects.”
Heineken: “Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you… Captain Buzzkill!!! If you have a nice moment that you’d like to see destroyed just call Captain Buzzkill!!! Only Captain Buzzkill has the power to suck the life out of all the nice moments in your life!!!”
Windshield: “So this is how it’s gonna be?”
Heineken: “Put some pants on pervert.”
If you’d like to see more of my daily iPhone photos click here. Most of em are pretty boring but whatever, it’s cool.
SPACE FURBALLS MAKES ME SAD
Because I’ll be staring at them all damn weekend as I try to manipulate their space-age furball bodies in Adobe After Effects. But before I can even get started on that inevitable motion graphics disaster, I’m first gonna have to cut these furballs out from their backgrounds in Photoshop, which unfortunately will be quite a bit harder than originally anticipated.
Way to shoot grey fuzzy hats in front of big grey wall Tanner! Of all the colors in the world so shoot a grey fuzzy hat in front of, you picked the absolute worst one for what you are trying to do! Congratulations, here’s a free iPhone so you can call your mom and tell her just how much of a disappointment you really are!!!
Finally, in case you are curious as to what the graffiti behind me says, here ya go…
“MY FREEZER IS MY HUSBAND AND MY HUSBAND IS MY FREEZER”
Apparently a woman near where I live married a freezer. She’s gonna have way more fun this weekend with her freezer husband than I’m gonna have with After Effects, that’s for sure.
ADORABLY GRUMPY FURBALL
Not even a cute shirt with some bunnies in love could cheer up this sad furball.
Why is she sad you ask?
Well, you didn’t hear this from me, but rumor has it that she worked a really long day and when she came home her worthless husband, instead of kissing her hello, demanded that she put on a furball hat so that he could take some pictures before the sun went down. Apparently he wants to use pictures of furballs in his next After Effects video. The real tragedy of this situation is that his next After Effects video is probably going to suck worse than his first one, which, well… sucked. Again, you didn’t hear this from me.