2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine.
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
PLACES OF JAPAN 10 - “KOCHI RIVER”
Soon after I took this photo two Japanese boys, probably around 6 years old, approached me on their bikes. They stopped before me and very slowly and deliberately said “HELLO AMERICAN”. I said “HELLO” back and they repeated “HELLO”. I then slowly and deliberately said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and they laughed hysterically and drove off.
A few hours later we ran into the same boys and they very carefully and phonetically said “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and added a “HO HO HO”. They once again laughed hysterically and drove off.
I told Vicki that I was fairly certain that I could be Japan’s next big stand up comedian. She told me not to quit my day job.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 23 - “MRS. CLAUS”
If this woman traded her apron for a cape she’d be a super hero for sure. She looks like she’s flying.
PLACES OF JAPAN 06 - “KOCHI CHRISTMAS TREE”
The only Christmas tree we saw the entire time and it wasn’t even green, much less real.
Way to be Japanese minimalist design… way to be.
CRAZY CHRISTMAS DOLPHIN SHOW IN TOKYO!!!
Normally I try to boycott dolphin shows as I believe that they (dolphins) are way to cool for captivity. However, when I saw the dolphin trainers walking by in amazing Santa suits all of my deep convictions about dolphin captivity flew right out the blow hole. Do I feel bad about watching the show… yep. Did I enjoy the show… hell yep. Do I think dolphins should be kept in swimming pools… hell no. Am I a big hypocrite… hell yep.
Anyway, here’s a bunch of photos from the most cheerful dolphin show ever. 80’s American Pop Music was blaring the whole time, it was a feel good fun time for all (except maybe not for the dolphins).
Contemporary Christmas Classics: 2010 CHRISTMAS CARD (back)
“TO THE HIGH LIFE”
Pros: There are eight Santas in this photo!
Cons: None of the Santas have boots and/or beards. What’s the deal Santas?
Contemporary Christmas Classics: 2010 CHRISTMAS CARD (front)
“SANTA SHAKEDOWN PART 2”
So the Santas decided to make a sequel to Santa Shakedown although they never cleared the rights to the script with with our lawyer. That’s okay though, how can you stay mad at a group of drunk Santas trying to make a film with absolutely no formal training whatsoever. I might be wrong but I don’t think that VHS tape is going to fit into that Super 8 camera.
Also, I’m pretty sure that those lights are supposed to be plugged in. Oh Santas, even if you are able to get that camera to work your film is going to be underexposed!
Contemporary Christmas Classics: 2010 CHRISTMAS CARD PHOTO SHOOT
No. 02 - “THE SANTAS MAKE A MOVIE”
My cousin Matt took this shot as I was running around placing all the Santas. I even got my mom involved, she can be seen towards the back trimming Vicki’s Furball hat. Rigby, of course, is monitoring the Miller High Life situation.