TANNER BLOG

Posts tagged culture
VICKI GETS MAD AT TANNER IN JAPAN 01 - “MONK DRAMA” As we were leaving a shrine during our day in Kyoto we came upon the adorable woman pictured above. For some reason Vicki decided to actually be nice for once in her life by donating some money to the woman. I know you’re probably thinking “Yeah right, Vicki would never do anything nice for anyone, if anything she’d try to steal that woman’s lovely cap. Pics or didn’t happen”. Well, it’s true, and here’s a few pics to prove it… Here is an exact transcript, per verbatim, of the conversation I had with Vicki a few moments after I took these photos… Me: “Wow, the homeless people in Japan are so polite. I can’t believe she actually bowed to you, that’s so cool.” Vicki: “She’s not homeless you idiot, she’s a monk.” Me: “Seriously? That’s crazy, why’d I think she was homeless?” Vicki: “Please don’t talk” Me: “I didn’t even know women could be monks. That’s pretty cool.” Vicki: “Seriously, keep you’re mouth shut!” At this point Vicki walked to the other side of the street and pretended not to know me.

VICKI GETS MAD AT TANNER IN JAPAN 01 - “MONK DRAMA”

As we were leaving a shrine during our day in Kyoto we came upon the adorable woman pictured above. For some reason Vicki decided to actually be nice for once in her life by donating some money to the woman. I know you’re probably thinking “Yeah right, Vicki would never do anything nice for anyone, if anything she’d try to steal that woman’s lovely cap. Pics or didn’t happen”. Well, it’s true, and here’s a few pics to prove it…

Here is an exact transcript, per verbatim, of the conversation I had with Vicki a few moments after I took these photos…

Me: “Wow, the homeless people in Japan are so polite. I can’t believe she actually bowed to you, that’s so cool.”

Vicki: “She’s not homeless you idiot, she’s a monk.”

Me: “Seriously? That’s crazy, why’d I think she was homeless?”

Vicki: “Please don’t talk”

Me: “I didn’t even know women could be monks. That’s pretty cool.”

Vicki: “Seriously, keep you’re mouth shut!”

At this point Vicki walked to the other side of the street and pretended not to know me.

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 02 - “AKASHI AND MELISSA LOVE PETER GABRIEL” Pictured above is a close-up of a Japanese ema. What’s an ema you ask? Well, according to the internet an ema is a “small wooden plaque found in Japanese shrines onto which patrons write down prayers or wishes”. I saw quite a few emas during my day spent in Kyoto, but only one was worthy of the What Up With That Ema? award. So, without further ado, I present the first ever What Up With That Ema? award to… AKASHI AND MELISSA!!! Congratulations you two, the ema you created together on November 7th, 2010 made very little sense to me!!! Here is what I found to be most confusing about your ema… 1. I see that “retardation” is first on your list, followed by a smiley face. So I gotta ask, are you wishing and/or praying for retardation? 2. Why the “RPG”? I get that you obviously mean “Remember Peter Gabriel”, which is nice and all, but lets be honest, Genesis was nothing until Phil Collins took the helm. Also, as far as I know, Peter Gabriel is still alive, so why the need to remember him?  3. Your third line reads as follows… “BRIGHT FUTURE. WILD AND STUPID.” I’m sorry, but you can’t have both. Either cross out the “bright future” bit if you want to be stupid, or cross out the “wild & stupid” bit if you want a bright future. You can’t have it both ways… you just can’t. 4. You wrote “BEACH!” twice, which is fine, but it’s redundant and irritating to the viewer. Next time just one “BEACH!” will do, thank you. Finally, if Akashi or Melissa ever read this, please know that I am just joking and absolutely adore your ema! I truly hope that you two are relaxing on a beach somewhere jammin’ out to some classic Peter Gabriel. And Akashi, if you ever think about marrying Melissa, I think you should invest in a boom box and go the whole John Cusack In Your Eyes route, she’ll love it, trust me. Anyway, here’s a few more photos of some of the less interesting ema I saw while in Japan…

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 02 - “AKASHI AND MELISSA LOVE PETER GABRIEL”

Pictured above is a close-up of a Japanese ema. What’s an ema you ask? Well, according to the internet an ema is a “small wooden plaque found in Japanese shrines onto which patrons write down prayers or wishes”.

I saw quite a few emas during my day spent in Kyoto, but only one was worthy of the What Up With That Ema? award. So, without further ado, I present the first ever What Up With That Ema? award to…

AKASHI AND MELISSA!!!

Congratulations you two, the ema you created together on November 7th, 2010 made very little sense to me!!! Here is what I found to be most confusing about your ema…

1. I see that “retardation” is first on your list, followed by a smiley face. So I gotta ask, are you wishing and/or praying for retardation?

2. Why the “RPG”? I get that you obviously mean “Remember Peter Gabriel”, which is nice and all, but lets be honest, Genesis was nothing until Phil Collins took the helm. Also, as far as I know, Peter Gabriel is still alive, so why the need to remember him? 

3. Your third line reads as follows… “BRIGHT FUTURE. WILD AND STUPID.” I’m sorry, but you can’t have both. Either cross out the “bright future” bit if you want to be stupid, or cross out the “wild & stupid” bit if you want a bright future. You can’t have it both ways… you just can’t.

4. You wrote “BEACH!” twice, which is fine, but it’s redundant and irritating to the viewer. Next time just one “BEACH!” will do, thank you.

Finally, if Akashi or Melissa ever read this, please know that I am just joking and absolutely adore your ema! I truly hope that you two are relaxing on a beach somewhere jammin’ out to some classic Peter Gabriel. And Akashi, if you ever think about marrying Melissa, I think you should invest in a boom box and go the whole John Cusack In Your Eyes route, she’ll love it, trust me.

Anyway, here’s a few more photos of some of the less interesting ema I saw while in Japan…

SORT OF SCARY STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “BAD LUCK OMIKUJI” During our one day in Kyoto I became rather infatuated with these tiny pieces of folded up paper tied to strings. The reason for my infatuation was simple: they looked pretty cool, and I’m a sucker for stuff that looks pretty cool (my wife Vicki is a perfect example of this, she is often a devil woman who will stop at nothing to steal my cozy winter cap, but she looks pretty cool, so I married her). Anyway, my infatuation turned into an all out obsession once I learned the story behind these tiny rolled up pieces of paper. Here it is… The various temples and shrines of Japan all sell fortunes, called Omikuji. If you draw a good Omikuji you fold that sucker back up, shove it in your pocket, and take it home and enjoy the hell out of your newfound good luck. But if you draw a bad Omikuji, well, your basically doomed, unless you follow these three simple steps… 1. Don’t freak out, play it cool! Whatever you do, definitely don’t call your mom for help, that’s pathetic. You can beat this thing. 2. Once you have your cool under control, casually begin walking around the shrine until you find a string or branch that has several other bad Omikuji tied to it. 3. Tie your Omikuji to said string or branch and run like hell (unless you have high blood pressure, if that’s the case you should probably just walk fast). If you follow these three simple steps all is good, you have nothing to worry about. Basically what will happen is that the “Divine Spirit” will use it’s special skills to exorcise the bad luck. Think of the Divine Spirit as a big fat sponge that soaks up evil instead of water. Anyway, I thought that was a really cool, albeit mildly terrifying, aspect of Japanese culture. Here’s a few more pictures of some bad luck Omikuji…

SORT OF SCARY STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “BAD LUCK OMIKUJI”

During our one day in Kyoto I became rather infatuated with these tiny pieces of folded up paper tied to strings. The reason for my infatuation was simple: they looked pretty cool, and I’m a sucker for stuff that looks pretty cool (my wife Vicki is a perfect example of this, she is often a devil woman who will stop at nothing to steal my cozy winter cap, but she looks pretty cool, so I married her).

Anyway, my infatuation turned into an all out obsession once I learned the story behind these tiny rolled up pieces of paper. Here it is…

The various temples and shrines of Japan all sell fortunes, called Omikuji. If you draw a good Omikuji you fold that sucker back up, shove it in your pocket, and take it home and enjoy the hell out of your newfound good luck. But if you draw a bad Omikuji, well, your basically doomed, unless you follow these three simple steps…

1. Don’t freak out, play it cool! Whatever you do, definitely don’t call your mom for help, that’s pathetic. You can beat this thing.

2. Once you have your cool under control, casually begin walking around the shrine until you find a string or branch that has several other bad Omikuji tied to it.

3. Tie your Omikuji to said string or branch and run like hell (unless you have high blood pressure, if that’s the case you should probably just walk fast).

If you follow these three simple steps all is good, you have nothing to worry about. Basically what will happen is that the “Divine Spirit” will use it’s special skills to exorcise the bad luck. Think of the Divine Spirit as a big fat sponge that soaks up evil instead of water.

Anyway, I thought that was a really cool, albeit mildly terrifying, aspect of Japanese culture.

Here’s a few more pictures of some bad luck Omikuji…

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 24 - “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?” As far as I see it, there are only three viable options… a. Jack b. Folded up papers with fortunes c. Gwyneth Paltrow’s “pretty” head I’m gonna go out on a limb and go with “b”, as you can actually see the folded papers sitting inside the box. If you guessed “a” or “c” you should probably have your eyes checked out by a certified eyeball technician. Also, I apologize if I may have just ruined the ending of Seven for some of you. Finally, here’s a few more pictures of Vicki and her Dad checking out their fortunes… I’m pretty sure Vicki’s fortune read as follows… “Before the day is over you will possess Tanner’s cozy winter cap”.

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 24 - “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?”

As far as I see it, there are only three viable options…

a. Jack

b. Folded up papers with fortunes

c. Gwyneth Paltrow’s “pretty” head

I’m gonna go out on a limb and go with “b”, as you can actually see the folded papers sitting inside the box. If you guessed “a” or “c” you should probably have your eyes checked out by a certified eyeball technician. Also, I apologize if I may have just ruined the ending of Seven for some of you.

Finally, here’s a few more pictures of Vicki and her Dad checking out their fortunes…

I’m pretty sure Vicki’s fortune read as follows… “Before the day is over you will possess Tanner’s cozy winter cap”.

PLACES OF JAPAN 08 - “KOCHI FISH MARKET” Get ready for about a billion* pictures of everything and everyone in this place. Photographically speaking it was by far the highlight of my trip, and that’s saying a lot considering I spent an afternoon here. *By a billion I really mean around fifteen or twenty.

PLACES OF JAPAN 08 - “KOCHI FISH MARKET”

Get ready for about a billion* pictures of everything and everyone in this place. Photographically speaking it was by far the highlight of my trip, and that’s saying a lot considering I spent an afternoon here.

*By a billion I really mean around fifteen or twenty.