disturbing | TANNER BLOG

Jul
15

DON’T “F” WITH GEOFF This one time my friend Geoff was about to bite into his Auntie Anne’s soft pretzel when some surfer dude in flip flops appeared out of nowhere and stole it! As is often the case in such situations, Geoff calmly removed his shirt, jumped onto his moped, chased down the surfer dude, and ripped off his leg!!! The moral of this story… DON’T F WITH GEOFF!!! Disclaimer: The phrase “Don’t F With Geoff” is copyrighted to Nick Prevas and Geofferson Thomas. If you would like to use it as your company slogan and/or swim team name, I believe that they are currently charging a flat fee of around three hundred dollars for unlimited usage throughout the universe*. *Universe does not include Nebraska, Jupiter, or the Atlantic Ocean.

DON’T “F” WITH GEOFF

This one time my friend Geoff was about to bite into his Auntie Anne’s soft pretzel when some surfer dude in flip flops appeared out of nowhere and stole it! As is often the case in such situations, Geoff calmly removed his shirt, jumped onto his moped, chased down the surfer dude, and ripped off his leg!!!

The moral of this story…

DON’T F WITH GEOFF!!!

Disclaimer: The phrase “Don’t F With Geoff” is copyrighted to Nick Prevas and Geofferson Thomas. If you would like to use it as your company slogan and/or swim team name, I believe that they are currently charging a flat fee of around three hundred dollars for unlimited usage throughout the universe*.

*Universe does not include Nebraska, Jupiter, or the Atlantic Ocean.

Apr
02

SAD STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “THE PENGUIN WALK OF SHAME” After three hours the penguin finally blinked and lost the staring contest with Vicki’s dad. In the photo above you can see one of the trainers leading him to the piranha tank, into which he will have to place his flipper for 30 seconds (as a result of loosing the staring contest).  Not to worry though, just as the penguin began to dip his flipper into piranha infested waters Vicki screamed “Don’t do it penguin! This is insane!!! Dad, go hug the damn penguin and let’s go find Tanner some chicken teriyaki”. So Vicki’s dad and the penguin reluctantly hugged it out and off we went to once again NOT find chicken teriyaki in the country that I thought had invented it.

SAD STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “THE PENGUIN WALK OF SHAME”

After three hours the penguin finally blinked and lost the staring contest with Vicki’s dad. In the photo above you can see one of the trainers leading him to the piranha tank, into which he will have to place his flipper for 30 seconds (as a result of loosing the staring contest). 

Not to worry though, just as the penguin began to dip his flipper into piranha infested waters Vicki screamed “Don’t do it penguin! This is insane!!! Dad, go hug the damn penguin and let’s go find Tanner some chicken teriyaki”. So Vicki’s dad and the penguin reluctantly hugged it out and off we went to once again NOT find chicken teriyaki in the country that I thought had invented it.

Apr
01

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 08 - “2 GUYS, 2 BIKES, AND THE END OF MY INNOCENCE” The good news… I know for a fact that this photo was taken on May 15th, but I’m not sure which year. I’m guessing 1986 or 87. Anyway, it was my birthday and my folks hooked me up with a brand new shiny red and white Spalding to replace my used and abused Murray. I remember being so excited to have a bike with “hand breaks” as opposed to “foot breaks”. I also remember scrubbing those white tires with warm soapy water every night before bed. Anyway, my dad didn’t have a bike at the time so I gave him my old rusty Murray, and my mom took this picture to commemorate our new acquisitions. The bad news…  Unfortunately my new bike was stolen about a month later, along with my innocence. Fortunately my dad let me have the Murray back, free of charge. But nothing, not even my dad, could give me back my innocence, that was gone forever.

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 08 - “2 GUYS, 2 BIKES, AND THE END OF MY INNOCENCE”

The good news…

I know for a fact that this photo was taken on May 15th, but I’m not sure which year. I’m guessing 1986 or 87. Anyway, it was my birthday and my folks hooked me up with a brand new shiny red and white Spalding to replace my used and abused Murray. I remember being so excited to have a bike with “hand breaks” as opposed to “foot breaks”. I also remember scrubbing those white tires with warm soapy water every night before bed.

Anyway, my dad didn’t have a bike at the time so I gave him my old rusty Murray, and my mom took this picture to commemorate our new acquisitions.

The bad news… 

Unfortunately my new bike was stolen about a month later, along with my innocence. Fortunately my dad let me have the Murray back, free of charge. But nothing, not even my dad, could give me back my innocence, that was gone forever.

Mar
17

Feb
13

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 04 - “BROKEN POLAROIDS AND BROKEN HEARTS” My apologies for this belated Flashback Friday. I have no excuse unless you count the drunk unicorn that attacked me with scissors on Friday. Anyway, a few years back I made my very first eBay purchase… a Polaroid SX-70 in “perfect working condition” from some dude in Kansas. As soon as it arrived I ran out and got myself a pack of Polaroid Time Zero film and then rushed to Philly and took this photograph of my sisters. Had my sisters been nightmare banshee poltergeist demon women from hell I would have said that the camera worked flawlessly. Unfortunately my sisters were just regular humans at the time and thus this disturbingly blurry photo meant that my camera was busted. The only good thing to come out of this entire experience is that I learned first hand never to trust anyone from Kansas.

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 04 - “BROKEN POLAROIDS AND BROKEN HEARTS”

My apologies for this belated Flashback Friday. I have no excuse unless you count the drunk unicorn that attacked me with scissors on Friday.

Anyway, a few years back I made my very first eBay purchase… a Polaroid SX-70 in “perfect working condition” from some dude in Kansas. As soon as it arrived I ran out and got myself a pack of Polaroid Time Zero film and then rushed to Philly and took this photograph of my sisters. Had my sisters been nightmare banshee poltergeist demon women from hell I would have said that the camera worked flawlessly. Unfortunately my sisters were just regular humans at the time and thus this disturbingly blurry photo meant that my camera was busted.

The only good thing to come out of this entire experience is that I learned first hand never to trust anyone from Kansas.

Feb
04

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 03 - “DOG BOY AND STRONG MAN” Oh sweet student films… Back in my college days my best friend Nick shot a black and white film by the name L’Invitation. It tells the tale of a love triangle involving a Gypsy, a Cannibal, and a Bearded Lady. Of course what carnival love triangle story would be complete without a few supporting characters, such as a Strong Man and a Dog Boy in a cage.  What’s crazy is that I showed up to set on the first shoot night with a full head of hair. Somehow I was bamboozled into letting my friend Gage shave my entire head with a Bic Razor so that he could tattoo my head with a Sharpie. Needless to say my folks were not too pleased. For anyone who may be curious the liquid dripping down my body is Hershey’s syrup, the go-to blood of choice when shooting black and white.  On a personal note this photo really bums me out because I realize that I’ve gained at least 40 pounds since this photo was taken. What the hell happened to me, I gotta get back in shape, it’s embarrassing. Damn you metabolism!  Anyway, if you’d like to see the film, it’s on Nick’s Vimeo. Here’s the link.

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 03 - “DOG BOY AND STRONG MAN”

Oh sweet student films…

Back in my college days my best friend Nick shot a black and white film by the name L’Invitation. It tells the tale of a love triangle involving a Gypsy, a Cannibal, and a Bearded Lady. Of course what carnival love triangle story would be complete without a few supporting characters, such as a Strong Man and a Dog Boy in a cage. 

What’s crazy is that I showed up to set on the first shoot night with a full head of hair. Somehow I was bamboozled into letting my friend Gage shave my entire head with a Bic Razor so that he could tattoo my head with a Sharpie. Needless to say my folks were not too pleased.

For anyone who may be curious the liquid dripping down my body is Hershey’s syrup, the go-to blood of choice when shooting black and white. 

On a personal note this photo really bums me out because I realize that I’ve gained at least 40 pounds since this photo was taken. What the hell happened to me, I gotta get back in shape, it’s embarrassing. Damn you metabolism!

 Anyway, if you’d like to see the film, it’s on Nick’s Vimeo. Here’s the link.

Dec
20