PEOPLE OF JAPAN 24 - “LITTLE CURIOUS MAN”
He’s not looking for lobsters, he’s looking for a Mogwai.
Unfortunately if he does find a Mogwai it’s obviously going to be wet. If you don’t know why that’s a very bad thing than I hope for your sake that your dad never gives you a Mogwai.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 21 - “THERE’S A TURTLE ON THE TABLE”
Literally every single person at the Kochi fish market looked like a character from the most incredible film ever. Part of me thinks it wasn’t a market at all but rather some sort of movie set and I just never picked up on it.
If I hired a “science guy” to create a device called an “interesting meter” I’m pretty sure the good folks of Kochi would blow up the machine. Comparatively, most folks near where I live in Brooklyn (such as myself) wouldn’t even make the needle move (assuming the “interesting meter” operates via an analog needle as opposed to a more modern digital readout).
Finally, what the hell am I talking about and what is wrong with me? I have a hot wife somewhere in this apartment and I’m sitting at a computer writing about “interesting meters” that probably would never really work seeing as “interestingness” is a rather objective quality. I just can’t see a robot quantifying something like that.
So now I’m stuck with two options…
1. I can go watch Cupcake Wars with my hot wife (speaking of interesting, check out Cupcake Wars on the Food Network, it’s surprisingly awesome)
2. Look for a “Science Guy” on Craigslist
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 19 - “CIGARETTES AND BOOTS”
How incredible is this guy’s outfit?
Pop Quiz: When Vicki and I laid eyes on this man we both instantly decided that he was Japan’s version of a famous 80’s comedic actor. Name that actor!!!
Hint: The actor was Canadian and he was once in a film with Steve Martin that Vicki and I consider to be hands down the best “buddy film” of all time (it actually might be my favorite movie ever).
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 18 - “GEORGIA COFFEE ON MY MIND”
My disappointment over lack of pretzels in Japan was counter-balanced by my excitement of seeing actual cans of Georgia Coffee. For those of you who may not know why I was so excited about Georgia Coffee, please take a moment to Google “David Lynch Georgia Coffee”. All you Twin Peaks fans can thank me later.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 16 - “STAR CROSSED SMOKERS”
Here we have yet another pair of star crossed smokers who probably will never meet. So close, yet so far away, it makes me sad.
In my head I’d like to see these two get married and open up a grown-up version of Chuck E. Cheese’s.
COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 13 - “BOTTLES AND CANS AND JUST CLAP YOUR HANDS”
Actually, no cans, just some bottles.
Also, if you don’t get the “clap your hands” reference then you, my friend, just don’t know where it’s at.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 14 - “TABLE 23”
Yes, you can still smoke cigarettes in pretty much any restaurant in Japan. This is great for news for the following three groups of people…
2. Cigarette Manufacturers
Unfortunately, this is bad news for everyone else.
What is interesting, at least to me, is that people in Japan live way longer on average that people in America. Some say it’s the raw fish, but I say it’s a combination of miso soup and midnight robot dance parties.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 13 - “FLOPPY HAT MEMORIES”
For a moment this man’s orange floppy hat reminded me of the floppy hat I was given at a Baltimore Orioles game with my dad and grandpa when I was around 7 or 8. Nothing beat sitting in Memorial Stadium eating popcorn and chanting “Eddie Eddie Eddie” between bites. Eddie Murphy may have been cool in the 80s, but trust me, he had nothing on Eddie Murray.
Also, Memorial Stadium was the steepest stadium of all time… OF ALL TIME!!!
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 12 - “WORKING HARD”
Shooting through glass is always fun. Also, I rather like her bandana.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 10 - “I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING”
But it looks pretty cool.
I also don’t know what those paddles are, but they look pretty cool.