TANNER BLOG
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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
Posts tagged funny
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CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “TANNER BATTLES THE VERTICAL SIGN-IN SHEET”

So during our one day in Kyoto we spent several hours bouncing around temple to temple. The first temple had this very cool sign-in sheet. Here’s a quick rundown of my train of thought as I stared down at the sheet…

0-7 seconds: Wow, that looks like a shot from a Wes Anderson movie!

8-10 seconds: I’ll sign us in and take a picture!

11-15 seconds: I have no idea how to sign us in. This makes no sense. Do I write up and down?

15-17 seconds: Oh well, I’ll take a picture anyway. It looks cool.

18-25 seconds: Woah! My socks actually match today! Way to be Tanner, way to be! 

26-37 seconds: I wonder if that’s a number 2 pencil? Is Japan as obsessed with number 2 pencils as America is?

38-40 seconds: Seriously, what’s the deal with number 2 pencils in America? Would my SAT have self destructed into a ball of flames had I filled in a bubble with a number 3 pencil? 

41-51 seconds: Does a number 3 pencil even exist? If so, is anyone ever allowed to use it? It would really suck to be a number 3 pencil and never get used. I hope number 3 pencils don’t exist because if they did I’d feel really bad for them.

52-60 seconds: I wonder if I’m gonna have to take my shoes off in every temple. I hate taking my shoes off. I wish I’d worn flip flops.

61-72 seconds: I’m so sick of Vicki always trying to steal my cozy winter cap. I never ask to borrow her cool gloves that transform into mittens. Why’s she gotta be a devil woman sometimes?

73-81 seconds: If I don’t find some chicken teriyaki today I’m gonna find a number 2 pencil and shove it in my eye just so I can forget about my craving for one second.

82- 86 seconds: I’m not even sure if this is a sign-in sheet. Maybe it’s a sign-out sheet? Good grief, I have no idea what I’m looking at. 

87-90 seconds: Why does everyone always hate on The Life Aquatic? I really think it’s Wes Anderson’s best work.

91-100 seconds: I wonder if there’s a line behind me? Should I pretend to write something down? 

Anyway, I played it cool and pretended to write something down. Also, I did a bit of research afterwards and the answer is yes, number 3 pencils do exist. I’m not sure what they’re used for, but if I ever have to take another standardized test I’m definitely gonna give a number 3 a shot and see what happens. Don’t worry, I’m not stupid, I’ll be sure to wear a helmet and safety goggles.

PERHAPS A CUSTOM ETSY KNIT CAP?

Since his skull,

swelled up real bad,

his hat’s too small, 

it makes him sad.

BORN ENEMIES

They were once best friends… then a woman got involved.

Hmmm… if they were once best friends my title may need a bit of reworking. Regardless, I’m pretty happy with this portrait of my Uncle John and little man Landon.