FURBALLS, PUMPKINS, AND PIZZA… OH MY!

If you’re looking for some easy peasy pranks to pull on Mischief Night, check out this how-to video brought to you by the two most adorable troublemakers in the whole wide world.

For those of you new to the game, click HERE to see the origin of all things furball.

 ·  59 notes

14th July 2011

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14th July 2011

TANNER TANNER
This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 
TANNER TANNER
This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 
TANNER TANNER
This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 
TANNER TANNER
This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 

TANNER TANNER

This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 

 ·  34 notes

4th July 2011

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA RETIRED
When Captain America retired he gained some weight, married a woman he didn’t really love, and had a couple of slacker kids with absolutely zero super hero potential. While he obviously regretted all of these things, his biggest regret in life was trading in his sweet motorcycle for this used mini van so that he could drive his chubby kids to soccer practice, where he would dejectedly watch them pick grass and cry about having to exercise.

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA RETIRED
When Captain America retired he gained some weight, married a woman he didn’t really love, and had a couple of slacker kids with absolutely zero super hero potential. While he obviously regretted all of these things, his biggest regret in life was trading in his sweet motorcycle for this used mini van so that he could drive his chubby kids to soccer practice, where he would dejectedly watch them pick grass and cry about having to exercise.

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA RETIRED

When Captain America retired he gained some weight, married a woman he didn’t really love, and had a couple of slacker kids with absolutely zero super hero potential. While he obviously regretted all of these things, his biggest regret in life was trading in his sweet motorcycle for this used mini van so that he could drive his chubby kids to soccer practice, where he would dejectedly watch them pick grass and cry about having to exercise.

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 ·  25 notes
FLASHBACK FRIDAY 12 - SODA POP COUGH DROP

Several years ago Vicki and I drove out to the Mojave desert and shot a short film called Soda Pop Cough Drop. Vicki played Soda Pop, and I played Cough Drop. The basic premise was as follows…

Soda Pop and Cough Drop are alone in the desert working on a routine goldfish rescue operation. 

Cough Drop botches the routine goldfish rescue operation. He blames his epic failure on the water, which he claims “teems with sharks”.

As they nap in their tent during a routine napping operation, Cough Drop has a bad dream about a “half man half shark” creature eating poor innocent goldfish. He can’t sleep so he leaves the tent to fly his goldfish kite.

Cough Drop is abducted by a flying hammerhead shark. As he’s being abducted he lets Soda Pop know via walkie talkie.

Soda Pop spends the rest of the movie trying to rescue Cough Drop from the flying hammerhead shark. 

That’s pretty much it. It was a rather terrible filmmaking experience for several reasons…

1. We didn’t have a location planned beforehand, so most of the day was spent looking for a place to shoot.

2. It was a million degrees out.

3. We had no food.

4. We saw a giant snake and that freaked us out the hell out, as we were literally in the middle of nowhere and had zero anti-venom on hand. Had it a) been poisonous and b) bitten us, we probably would have died that day and our bodies would still be out there.

5. In addition to playing every character in the film, Vicki and I also shot the entire thing ourselves, which is not so easy when you’re hot, haven’t eaten, and are fighting a sun that’s setting fast. The possibility of being killed by a wild animal didn’t help much either. 

Anyway, I guess that’s about it. Here’s a few behind-the-scenes polaroids of me being abducted by the flying hammerhead shark…

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 ·  59 notes

15th April 2011

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “TANNER BATTLES THE VERTICAL SIGN-IN SHEET”
So during our one day in Kyoto we spent several hours bouncing around temple to temple. The first temple had this very cool sign-in sheet. Here’s a quick rundown of my train of thought as I stared down at the sheet…
0-7 seconds: Wow, that looks like a shot from a Wes Anderson movie!
8-10 seconds: I’ll sign us in and take a picture!
11-15 seconds: I have no idea how to sign us in. This makes no sense. Do I write up and down?
15-17 seconds: Oh well, I’ll take a picture anyway. It looks cool.
18-25 seconds: Woah! My socks actually match today! Way to be Tanner, way to be! 
26-37 seconds: I wonder if that’s a number 2 pencil? Is Japan as obsessed with number 2 pencils as America is?
38-40 seconds: Seriously, what’s the deal with number 2 pencils in America? Would my SAT have self destructed into a ball of flames had I filled in a bubble with a number 3 pencil? 
41-51 seconds: Does a number 3 pencil even exist? If so, is anyone ever allowed to use it? It would really suck to be a number 3 pencil and never get used. I hope number 3 pencils don’t exist because if they did I’d feel really bad for them.
52-60 seconds: I wonder if I’m gonna have to take my shoes off in every temple. I hate taking my shoes off. I wish I’d worn flip flops.
61-72 seconds: I’m so sick of Vicki always trying to steal my cozy winter cap. I never ask to borrow her cool gloves that transform into mittens. Why’s she gotta be a devil woman sometimes?
73-81 seconds: If I don’t find some chicken teriyaki today I’m gonna find a number 2 pencil and shove it in my eye just so I can forget about my craving for one second.
82- 86 seconds: I’m not even sure if this is a sign-in sheet. Maybe it’s a sign-out sheet? Good grief, I have no idea what I’m looking at. 
87-90 seconds: Why does everyone always hate on The Life Aquatic? I really think it’s Wes Anderson’s best work.
91-100 seconds: I wonder if there’s a line behind me? Should I pretend to write something down? 
Anyway, I played it cool and pretended to write something down. Also, I did a bit of research afterwards and the answer is yes, number 3 pencils do exist. I’m not sure what they’re used for, but if I ever have to take another standardized test I’m definitely gonna give a number 3 a shot and see what happens. Don’t worry, I’m not stupid, I’ll be sure to wear a helmet and safety goggles. CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “TANNER BATTLES THE VERTICAL SIGN-IN SHEET”
So during our one day in Kyoto we spent several hours bouncing around temple to temple. The first temple had this very cool sign-in sheet. Here’s a quick rundown of my train of thought as I stared down at the sheet…
0-7 seconds: Wow, that looks like a shot from a Wes Anderson movie!
8-10 seconds: I’ll sign us in and take a picture!
11-15 seconds: I have no idea how to sign us in. This makes no sense. Do I write up and down?
15-17 seconds: Oh well, I’ll take a picture anyway. It looks cool.
18-25 seconds: Woah! My socks actually match today! Way to be Tanner, way to be! 
26-37 seconds: I wonder if that’s a number 2 pencil? Is Japan as obsessed with number 2 pencils as America is?
38-40 seconds: Seriously, what’s the deal with number 2 pencils in America? Would my SAT have self destructed into a ball of flames had I filled in a bubble with a number 3 pencil? 
41-51 seconds: Does a number 3 pencil even exist? If so, is anyone ever allowed to use it? It would really suck to be a number 3 pencil and never get used. I hope number 3 pencils don’t exist because if they did I’d feel really bad for them.
52-60 seconds: I wonder if I’m gonna have to take my shoes off in every temple. I hate taking my shoes off. I wish I’d worn flip flops.
61-72 seconds: I’m so sick of Vicki always trying to steal my cozy winter cap. I never ask to borrow her cool gloves that transform into mittens. Why’s she gotta be a devil woman sometimes?
73-81 seconds: If I don’t find some chicken teriyaki today I’m gonna find a number 2 pencil and shove it in my eye just so I can forget about my craving for one second.
82- 86 seconds: I’m not even sure if this is a sign-in sheet. Maybe it’s a sign-out sheet? Good grief, I have no idea what I’m looking at. 
87-90 seconds: Why does everyone always hate on The Life Aquatic? I really think it’s Wes Anderson’s best work.
91-100 seconds: I wonder if there’s a line behind me? Should I pretend to write something down? 
Anyway, I played it cool and pretended to write something down. Also, I did a bit of research afterwards and the answer is yes, number 3 pencils do exist. I’m not sure what they’re used for, but if I ever have to take another standardized test I’m definitely gonna give a number 3 a shot and see what happens. Don’t worry, I’m not stupid, I’ll be sure to wear a helmet and safety goggles.

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 01 - “TANNER BATTLES THE VERTICAL SIGN-IN SHEET”

So during our one day in Kyoto we spent several hours bouncing around temple to temple. The first temple had this very cool sign-in sheet. Here’s a quick rundown of my train of thought as I stared down at the sheet…

0-7 seconds: Wow, that looks like a shot from a Wes Anderson movie!

8-10 seconds: I’ll sign us in and take a picture!

11-15 seconds: I have no idea how to sign us in. This makes no sense. Do I write up and down?

15-17 seconds: Oh well, I’ll take a picture anyway. It looks cool.

18-25 seconds: Woah! My socks actually match today! Way to be Tanner, way to be! 

26-37 seconds: I wonder if that’s a number 2 pencil? Is Japan as obsessed with number 2 pencils as America is?

38-40 seconds: Seriously, what’s the deal with number 2 pencils in America? Would my SAT have self destructed into a ball of flames had I filled in a bubble with a number 3 pencil? 

41-51 seconds: Does a number 3 pencil even exist? If so, is anyone ever allowed to use it? It would really suck to be a number 3 pencil and never get used. I hope number 3 pencils don’t exist because if they did I’d feel really bad for them.

52-60 seconds: I wonder if I’m gonna have to take my shoes off in every temple. I hate taking my shoes off. I wish I’d worn flip flops.

61-72 seconds: I’m so sick of Vicki always trying to steal my cozy winter cap. I never ask to borrow her cool gloves that transform into mittens. Why’s she gotta be a devil woman sometimes?

73-81 seconds: If I don’t find some chicken teriyaki today I’m gonna find a number 2 pencil and shove it in my eye just so I can forget about my craving for one second.

82- 86 seconds: I’m not even sure if this is a sign-in sheet. Maybe it’s a sign-out sheet? Good grief, I have no idea what I’m looking at. 

87-90 seconds: Why does everyone always hate on The Life Aquatic? I really think it’s Wes Anderson’s best work.

91-100 seconds: I wonder if there’s a line behind me? Should I pretend to write something down? 

Anyway, I played it cool and pretended to write something down. Also, I did a bit of research afterwards and the answer is yes, number 3 pencils do exist. I’m not sure what they’re used for, but if I ever have to take another standardized test I’m definitely gonna give a number 3 a shot and see what happens. Don’t worry, I’m not stupid, I’ll be sure to wear a helmet and safety goggles.

 ·  25 notes
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