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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
Posts tagged furball
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what if you get drunk and forget to upload your stuff to tumblr?

Actually, this has happened several times before and here’s how we fix it…

Vicki finds me face down in some shrubbery wearing only my underpants and a furball hat.

Vicki: “Duuude, you totally forgot to post to tumblr”

Me: “Duuuude, no way, am I in suck city?”

Vicki: “Duuude, we should totally build the world’s most unreliable time machine and go back in time and fix this!”

Me: “Duuude, that’s totally the best idea ever! I don’t even wanna install seat belts!!!”

So that’s basically how we do it.


High fives and hugs to all you nice folks who left me birthday messages this past weekend. Thank you!

As a token of my appreciation I thought I’d draw you all a cute little Space Furball as a “thank you” card of sorts. In retrospect I probably should have made the furball smile and written a nice thank you message somewhere. I’m sorry, it could’ve been much better.

Anyway, in my dream world I’d love to start a furball comic strip or cartoon, but that’s probably not gonna happen. Rather, it’s just gonna get added to the infinite list of creative things I want to do before I die that will never happen because of real life* keepin’ me down. Bummer! Thanks a lot real life, thanks a lot for keepin’ me down and crushing my dreams!

And finally, I had been planning on posting beautiful wet photos of all my new fish, but I can’t because I didn’t freakin’ get any! Instead I got three bags of a special type of gravel that should allow me to grow live plants in my fish tank. So stay tuned, in the next few weeks I’ll hopefully be posting some exciting photos documenting the beginnings of a living and breathing aquatic ecosystem… in my apartment! I’m gonna have aquatic grass, I’m gonna have aquatic moss, I’m gonna have snails, I’m gonna have shrimp, I’m gonna have fish, I’m gonna be broke, it’s gonna be awesome!

*By “real life” I do not, I repeat DO NOT, mean Vicki.


So Vicki just reminded me that today is my thirty second birthday. This was my reaction. 

Anyway, I had planned on spending the day as my normal grumpy-grump self struggling to learn Adobe After Effects, but Vicki has convinced me to leave the apartment to go get some fish for the aquarium I got for my birthday exactly one year ago today. That’s right, there’s been a 30-gallon fish tank, full of water mind you, sitting fish-less and plant-less for 365 days in the corner of our living room. That tank is a true testament to just how lazy I can be when I put my mind to something. Here’s a picture that pretty much sums up the complete failure of my 31st year on earth…


Anyway, if by chance I’m following you, and you just realized that I’m old enough to be your dad, feel free to let me know if you’d prefer that I un-follow you. It’s bad enough I’m an old lazy dude, I sure as hell don’t want to be a creepy old lazy dude. 

Also, go Baltimore Orioles!


Because I’ll be staring at them all damn weekend as I try to manipulate their space-age furball bodies in Adobe After Effects. But before I can even get started on that inevitable motion graphics disaster, I’m first gonna have to cut these furballs out from their backgrounds in Photoshop, which unfortunately will be quite a bit harder than originally anticipated.

Way to shoot grey fuzzy hats in front of big grey wall Tanner! Of all the colors in the world so shoot a grey fuzzy hat in front of, you picked the absolute worst one for what you are trying to do! Congratulations, here’s a free iPhone so you can call your mom and tell her just how much of a disappointment you really are!!!


Finally, in case you are curious as to what the graffiti behind me says, here ya go…


Apparently a woman near where I live married a freezer. She’s gonna have way more fun this weekend with her freezer husband than I’m gonna have with After Effects, that’s for sure.


Not even a cute shirt with some bunnies in love could cheer up this sad furball. 

Why is she sad you ask?

Well, you didn’t hear this from me, but rumor has it that she worked a really long day and when she came home her worthless husband, instead of kissing her hello, demanded that she put on a furball hat so that he could take some pictures before the sun went down. Apparently he wants to use pictures of furballs in his next After Effects video. The real tragedy of this situation is that his next After Effects video is probably going to suck worse than his first one, which, well… sucked. Again, you didn’t hear this from me.


Or better yet, for those of you “in the know”…

I fur with my little ball…

Note: If you are not “in the know” but are curious as to what I’m talking about, just click here and all of your questions will be answered. One day they will return, one day…