So Bunko the Brave, aka Vicki, finally gave birth to Baby Bunko, aka Emi (pronounced Emmy, it’s Vicki’s grandma’s name).
Weighing in at 6 pounds 5 ounces, Baby Bunko enjoys burping, sneezing, and hiccuping. I’m not quite sure if she enjoys being forced into silly poses for my pictures, but she hasn’t said “no” yet, so I guess that must mean she likes it.
I’m thinking about starting up My Mom Reviews My Photos again, this time with daily instagram pictures of Emi. I’m not sure if Pam and Toby would be on board or not, stay tuned.
Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.
Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.
This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner.
VICKI DOESN’T SHARE THEM APPLES
This one time Vicki and I were at a carnival and I spent my last twenty bucks attempting to win her a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee (I did not succeed). As we were leaving the carnival she got herself a delectable candy apple. I asked her if I could have a bite. She said “You can have a bite when I have a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee”.
The next day I went out and got myself a squirt gun and a wooden bird feeder. I spent the next 364 days shooting that squirt gun through the little hole of the bird feeder. We went back to the carnival and I easily won the stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee. I handed it to Vicki and asked for a bite of her candy apple. She replied “I don’t wan’t a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee, I want a stuffed baby bumble bee dressed like porcupine. No bite for you!!!”
Anyway, the most amazing part of this whole story is that she was still chewing on that same damn candy apple nearly a year later.
Six hours left till midnight…
How many items on my daily to-do-list will I complete???
Will I find my socks? Will I find my watch? Will I invest in some pens that don’t smear? Will I spend some quality alone time with my fish? Will I spend some quality alone time with jealous Rigby? And most importantly, is it still possible to have bagels for breakfast???