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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
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BOOM!!! BABY BUNKO BORN!!!

So Bunko the Brave, aka Vicki, finally gave birth to Baby Bunko, aka Emi (pronounced Emmy, it’s Vicki’s grandma’s name).

Weighing in at 6 pounds 5 ounces, Baby Bunko enjoys burping, sneezing, and hiccuping. I’m not quite sure if she enjoys being forced into silly poses for my pictures, but she hasn’t said “no” yet, so I guess that must mean she likes it.

I’m thinking about starting up My Mom Reviews My Photos again, this time with daily instagram pictures of Emi. I’m not sure if Pam and Toby would be on board or not, stay tuned.

FUTURE PANTS

Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.

Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.

(Taken with instagram)

FURBALLS, PUMPKINS, AND PIZZA… OH MY!

If you’re looking for some easy peasy pranks to pull on Mischief Night, check out this how-to video brought to you by the two most adorable troublemakers in the whole wide world.

For those of you new to the game, click HERE to see the origin of all things furball.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!

I think this picture of my mom and Toby, her dog/cat hybrid, probably explains a lot about why I am the way I am.

Keep on being awesome Pammy!

TANNER TANNER

This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 

Six hours ‘til midnight…

How many items on my daily to-do-list will I complete???

Will I find my socks? Will I find my watch? Will I invest in some pens that don’t smear? Will I spend some quality alone time with my fish? Will I spend some quality alone time with jealous Rigby? And most importantly, is it still possible to have bagels for breakfast???

Tune in HERE later tonight to find out!

DAILY JOURNAL THING 01 - BIFF AND LORRAINE

So yesterday I got myself a moleskine notebook for several pathetic reasons…

1. I want to start each and every day by writing down a list of goals that I’ll never reach. Not now, not never.

2. I want to start writing down ideas for film projects that’ll absolutely never see the light of day. Not today, not tomorrow, not infinity.

3. I want to write down lyrics and jokes for my comedy album that will never happen because the sun will explode first.

4. I’d like to try to draw something every day. Unfortunately for you guys this one might actually happen.

Anyway, if you examine my pathetic list you’ll see that I conquered three of my eight goals today!!! Sadly they were the easiest three conquer, but I reckon a false sense of accomplishment is better than no sense of accomplishment. And to be honest, I’m actually pretty happy with how Biff and Lorraine turned out. Biff’s beard is looking strong, and I rather dig Lorraine’s haircut and mouth.

Finally, this “Daily Journal Thing” might become a regular thing, I dunna know. Feel free to unfollow this blog if you originally followed me because you thought all I did was post photos. Seriously, it’s cool, no hard feelings. I wouldn’t follow me if I was me, that’s for sure.

THRITY FREAKIN’ TWO

So Vicki just reminded me that today is my thirty second birthday. This was my reaction. 

Anyway, I had planned on spending the day as my normal grumpy-grump self struggling to learn Adobe After Effects, but Vicki has convinced me to leave the apartment to go get some fish for the aquarium I got for my birthday exactly one year ago today. That’s right, there’s been a 30-gallon fish tank, full of water mind you, sitting fish-less and plant-less for 365 days in the corner of our living room. That tank is a true testament to just how lazy I can be when I put my mind to something. Here’s a picture that pretty much sums up the complete failure of my 31st year on earth…

image

Anyway, if by chance I’m following you, and you just realized that I’m old enough to be your dad, feel free to let me know if you’d prefer that I un-follow you. It’s bad enough I’m an old lazy dude, I sure as hell don’t want to be a creepy old lazy dude. 

Also, go Baltimore Orioles!

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