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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
Posts tagged gummy bear
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As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.


Q. How many girls were lucky enough to get mini cupcakes tonight? 

A. Millions.

Q. How many girls were lucky enough to get a hand crafted Tribearatops tonight?

A. Not many. Perhaps only Vicki. I can’t say for sure.

Q. Was this the best Valentine’s Day of Vicki’s life?

A. Yep.

Q. Seriously?

A. Well, it was until I told her that she had to share the mini cupcakes. 

Q. But she was totally into Tribearatops?

A. Yep.

Q. Seriously?

A. No, she hated Tribearatops. She called him a “disturbing dinosaur from hell” and added that “if hell had a hell, he’d be from that hell”. She did however enjoy the gummy bears.