THE TIME VICKI ALMOST ATE RIGBY

This one time Vicki and I got lost in a snow storm while walking Rigby. After about ten minutes Vicki’s tummy began to rumble and she suggested that we eat Rigby. Rigby quickly yelled “Damn woman! It’s only been ten minutes! At least eat some snow before you eat YOUR F-ING PUPPY!!!”. An awkward silence soon ensued where they both glared at me for support. Eventually I reluctantly mumbled “he’s kind of gotta point”.

I’ve been sleeping on the couch ever since.

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 20 - “MY FAVORITE THING IN THIS PHOTO IS NOT THE RABBIT”

Because while the rabbit is indeed awesome, it is nowhere near as awesome as my cozy winter cap. Its coziness knows no bounds!!!

Sometimes I feel bad because my cozy winter cap has never gotten to experience what it’s like to wear a cozy winter cap. One day before I die I hope to get a cozy winter cap for my cozy winter cap so that it can finally feel it’s own magical coziness.

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 28 - “PINK LIPSTICK”

In addition to her pink lipstick I also really like her paper cap. However, my favorite part is her winning attitude. I really miss Japan, everyone was so nice. I only had two minor quibbles…

1. I could never find a trash can. Where are your trash cans Japan!!! Does no one in Japan snack on the go???

2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… THERE IS NO CHICKEN TERIYAKI IN JAPAN!!!

PEOPLE OF AMERICA IN JAPAN 04 - “OFF WITH HIS COZY WINTER CAP!”

Princess Vicki mocks me with the cozy winter cap that was once mine. I remember it so clearly… “Off with his head!” she screamed, quickly adding, “STOP!!! I meant to say hat, off with his hat… my bad”. 

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 06 - “A FISH, A CRAB, A MAN, AND A FLOPPY HAT”

This is what happens when the perfect storm of a goofy fish, a quiet man, and a “giant nightmare freak-a-zoid crab creature from hell” suddenly collides before your eyes. I feel bad knowing that most folks will ever experience an event of this magnitude in their lifetimes.

Also, there is a top-secret second fish hiding somewhere in this photo, and no, it’s not hiding under the floppy hat. Although I wouldn’t rule out a hermit crab being under there.

She remembers the cyclone,

that destroyed all things,

as she stands alone,

and pulls her strings.