DEAD HEADS IN RED BEDS
A long time ago in a land far away there lived a very sad married couple. The husband was a rather inept boot cobbler and his wife was a bit of a nutter. She’d often laugh hysterically at her husband’s inability to fix boots and then go running out into the forest to “dance with the butterflies”. One day as she was merrily fox trotting through the woods she met an adorable Saint Bernard puppy. He told her that he was a magical canine and offered her three wishes.
Her first wish was for beautiful red butterfly wings, which he immediately granted. Her second wish was a nice thick mustache for her husband, who had always been ashamed of his inability to grow manly facial hair. The puppy happily obliged. Her third wish was for her and her husband to have giant round heads so that they could wear bath tubs as hats. The puppy said that he would try, but warned that it might not work as planned, being that it was actually two wishes, one for her and one for her husband. She said okay and the puppy reluctantly granted the wish. As he’d expected, it did not go quite according to plan. The good news was that they could now wear bath tubs as hats, the bad news was that they no longer had eyeballs or hair.