NO STRANGER TO DANGER

That’s what my shirt says, although you probably can’t read it due to low quality VHS camera we used to record this. Vicki made me the shirt for my birthday around five or ten years ago. Pictured above the text is an illustration of my goldfish Bert, who had bravely driven cross country with us shortly before these shirts were made. RIP.

The place Vicki ordered the shirts from had a minimum order of ten, so I actually have ten of these awesome shirts in a fun assortment of colors. 

The best thing I ever gave Vicki for her birthday was a set of sharpies. 

Vicki > Tanner

The hoop is spinning,

and she’s beginning,

to think that maybe,

she wants a baby.

Before she lets Jimmy,

bounce her box spring,

she demands he shimmy,

with her pink ring.

link

LANI & HYDE

After winning a whopping $77 at Bingo night, Lani cheerfully rides the bus home to share the news with her boyfriend, Hyde. They quickly blow the money on some lottery tickets that unfortunately are not winners. Not knowing what else to do they decide to rob a thrift store… again. Because their previous attempt at robbing Value Village had not ended so well they decide to up their game by wearing disguises. They go about this by quickly stealing some short shorts and tube socks from American Apparel. Now, disguised as sexy hipster models, they are able to easily slip into Value Village unnoticed and pocket several vintage toys. Once outside the store they suddenly realize that they have no bus money or getaway car, so Hyde calls his mom, who reluctantly gets out of bed and into her station wagon. Once back at what Hyde likes to refer to as his “Man-Cave”, Lani and Hyde put on a show with some of their loot while Hyde’s mom photographs the various “going-ons”. Some of the more family friendly photos will be posted here in coming days, weeks, maybe years.

Behind-the-Scenes:
Unfortunately for Lani and Hyde, several of the photographs taken that night by Hyde’s mother were later used against them on a gripping episode of Judge Judy. Fortunately for Lani and Hyde, the Judge Judy appearance led to a lucrative reality show where each week they would break into celebrity homes and steal whatever pets they could find.

He jumps for joy,

and throws his toy,

cause he drank the potion,

that gave him emotion.

She left me in december,
i’m not sure what i said,
but i always will remember,
her sexy cardboard head.

link

He wanted to sing,

but his voice lacked emotion,

so he grabbed a pink ring,

and caused a commotion.

link