BOOM!!! BABY BUNKO BORN!!!
So Bunko the Brave, aka Vicki, finally gave birth to Baby Bunko, aka Emi (pronounced Emmy, it’s Vicki’s grandma’s name).
Weighing in at 6 pounds 5 ounces, Baby Bunko enjoys burping, sneezing, and hiccuping. I’m not quite sure if she enjoys being forced into silly poses for my pictures, but she hasn’t said “no” yet, so I guess that must mean she likes it.
I’m thinking about starting up My Mom Reviews My Photos again, this time with daily instagram pictures of Emi. I’m not sure if Pam and Toby would be on board or not, stay tuned.
MAGICAL MOSSBALLS
A few months back I purchased these mossballs from the back of some hippie’s van in Williamsburg. Ever since then amazing things have been happening to me. Here’s the top nine…
1. My breakfast cereal, whether it be Apple Jacks or Kix, never gets soggy.
2. No one has touched my ear inappropriately on the subway.
3. All of my socks seem to be accounted for. Finally.
4. I stopped having dreams about Vicki dressed as Wolverine devouring all my Sunday morning pancakes.
5. Vicki finally admitted that “The Zissou” might be a good name for our pending baby.
6. Vicki got a “body pillow” which means I inherited one of her regular pillows!
7. My mom finally invited me to one of her Super Mario Dance Parties where everyone swings their arms from side to side.
8. No one has yet to invent a cozy winter cap that converts into a coffee mug in case of emergency, which means I still have a chance to blow the minds of millions.
9. Vicki can’t seem to stop touching my ear inappropriately. Ohhh yeah!
SALESBABE AND A CHEVY NOVA
Vicki was none too thrilled when I made her wear my hat and jacket in this picture. Regardless, she hides her anger well and would obviously make a terrific used car salesman.
I mean salesbabe.
BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE
Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.
All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.
In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.
(Taken with instagram)
OBSERVATIONS
Vicki’s Reaction: “That lady don’t got no pants!”
Tanner’s Reaction: “That kid don’t got no head!!!”
The point: Me and Vicki have got real bad grammar and Vicki’s got herself some real bad observational prioritization skills.
(Taken with instagram)
MY MAN
I’m not quite sure what’s going on here, but I think that at some point Wolverine ripped my man’s face off, yet somehow my man kept it real and ripped Wolverine’s arm off.
Either way, my man > Wolverine.
(Taken with instagram)
AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A MOSS BALL PARTY!
Just ask Dale the snail.
(Taken with instagram)
TYPICAL FRIDAY MORNING
I seriously doubt those shoes provide much, if any, arch support. Also, they kind of look like bags. I’ll be sticking with my New Balance until it’s Old Unbalanced, thank you very much yes sir!
(Taken with instagram)
FUTURE PANTS
Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.
Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.
(Taken with instagram)
AWESOME OVERLOAD
Awesome overload… cannot compute… MAJOR MALFUNCTION!!! Boots will self destruct in 5… 4… 3…. 2… is this heaven?
I hope so. (Taken with instagram)
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