BOOM!!! BABY BUNKO BORN!!!

So Bunko the Brave, aka Vicki, finally gave birth to Baby Bunko, aka Emi (pronounced Emmy, it’s Vicki’s grandma’s name).

Weighing in at 6 pounds 5 ounces, Baby Bunko enjoys burping, sneezing, and hiccuping. I’m not quite sure if she enjoys being forced into silly poses for my pictures, but she hasn’t said “no” yet, so I guess that must mean she likes it.

I’m thinking about starting up My Mom Reviews My Photos again, this time with daily instagram pictures of Emi. I’m not sure if Pam and Toby would be on board or not, stay tuned.

MAGICAL MOSSBALLS

A few months back I purchased these mossballs from the back of some hippie’s van in Williamsburg. Ever since then amazing things have been happening to me. Here’s the top nine…

1. My breakfast cereal, whether it be Apple Jacks or Kix, never gets soggy.

2. No one has touched my ear inappropriately on the subway.

3. All of my socks seem to be accounted for. Finally.

4. I stopped having dreams about Vicki dressed as Wolverine devouring all my Sunday morning pancakes.

5. Vicki finally admitted that “The Zissou” might be a good name for our pending baby.

6. Vicki got a “body pillow” which means I inherited one of her regular pillows!

7. My mom finally invited me to one of her Super Mario Dance Parties where everyone swings their arms from side to side.

8. No one has yet to invent a cozy winter cap that converts into a coffee mug in case of emergency, which means I still have a chance to blow the minds of millions.

9. Vicki can’t seem to stop touching my ear inappropriately. Ohhh yeah! 

BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE
Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.
All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.
In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.
(Taken with instagram)

BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE

Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.

All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.

In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.

(Taken with instagram)

FUTURE PANTS
Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.
Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.
(Taken with instagram)

FUTURE PANTS

Future people watch in awe as the letter “w” is abolished for having too many damn syllables. The letter “w” will be replaced by the more phonetic “doubleyou”, meaning water is now spelled “doubleyouater” and Wilson Philips is now “Doubleyouilson Philips”.

Also, are future people always stressed out about getting their white pants dirty? Is it possible that future pants clean themselves? I hope so.

(Taken with instagram)