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8 posts tagged japanese
8 posts tagged japanese
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
Story:
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.
The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.
Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush).
Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.
She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
Location:
Apocalyptic Bombay Beach at the Salton Sea, CA
Tech Specs:
Format: 35mm
Camera: Nikon FM10
Film Stock: Fuji Velvia 1011
Processing: Cross Processed
Behind-the-Scenes:
Ramos and Kenny fell in love and ran away together to Sweeden. Together with their seven Newfoundland puppies they run a cozy bed and breakfast where the sheets are always clean and the pancakes sparkle with glitter.
See the whole show here. Hopefully if I get my act together I’ll write some poems about some of these.
NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES
Poor Bunko just can’t seem to block out the sound of the screaming baby koala bears.
Do not be fooled, Bunko does NOT find the sound to be sad or disturbing, she simply finds it to be annoying… REALLY annoying.
BUNKO UNDER PRESSURE
There are eleven baby koala bears trapped inside of this trailer. As Bunko struggles to prevent it from tumbling over, she reluctantly absorbs the collective thoughts of the baby koalas. They are thinking, “Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air was so much better once they got rid of the original Aunt Vivian”. Bunko loved the original Aunt Vivian and couldn’t stand the replacement Aunt Vivian, and as such, she considers just letting the damn thing fall.
Not Pictured: Bunko just letting the damn thing fall.
Also Not Pictured: Eleven dead baby koala bears in a pool of their own blood.
BUNKO WANTS HER PANCAKES
But she can’t have them because of this impenetrable barrier full of rust and the deadly bacterium, Clostridium Tetani. So once again, Carl, the zombie swim team coach, has gotten away with all of Bunko’s pancakes. Poor Bunko, she was really craving those pancakes.
Fun Fact: Clostridium Tetani is the bacterium responsible for Tetanus, an infection of the nervous system that causes violent muscle spasms and excessive drooling in humans. Unfortunately for Bunko, zombie swim team coaches actually enjoy tetanus.
Note: If you look closely at this fence you’ll see that at one point it had split apart and some awesome person had patched it back together. I wish I was they type of guy who saw broken fences and fixed them, but instead I just take pictures of them and keep on walkin’. I salute you, mystery fence repairman! The world needs more “can-do” folks like you!
BUNKO AND THE VERY DEAD FISH
Bunko is…
a. absorbing the final memory of the dead fish so that she can figure out who killed him. She will absolutely be seeking vengeance.
b. thinking that she just found herself some lunch!
c. trying to figure out why her magic touch has not transformed the fish into a cupcake.
d. all of the above.
Answer: Obviously “D”.
Tip: To see the dead fish in all it’s mummified glory click through to the hi-res version!
NOOOO BUNKO DON’T TOUCH IT!!!
Little known fact: Anything Bunko touches turns into a cupcake.
This sounds awesome until you eat the cupcake and find out little known fact number two.
Little known fact number two: Bunko’s cupcakes are filled with highly addictive and extremely contagious baby koala bear venom.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 17 - “DOWN THE HATCH”
If I looked as cool as this dude Vicki would never get mad at me for not flushing the toilet, as she is quite easily swayed by cute fellas with shaggy hair. However, not even this dude could get away with wearing shoes in our apartment. That’s a battle no man can win, except for maybe James Franco.
COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 11 - “PLAYBOY HI-TOPS”
It’d be cool if Tumblr made a similar pair of custom hi-tops.
