Scroll or use keys to navigate.
Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
Posts tagged kind of funny
Follow Me on Instagram

When Mad Max was arrested for rollerblading naked in the Tina Turner’s Thunder Dome, a pissed off Baby Cannonball swung into action (literally). First, she squeezed her cannonball shaped body into her hyperbolic neoprene jump suit. Next, she shoved her cannonball shaped head into her hermetically sealed bunny helmet. After this, she took a nap.

When she woke up she downed a cup of black coffee and headed out to her green space pod to travel back in time to punch Mad Max in the face for wearing rollerblades.


A few months back I purchased these mossballs from the back of some hippie’s van in Williamsburg. Ever since then amazing things have been happening to me. Here’s the top nine…

1. My breakfast cereal, whether it be Apple Jacks or Kix, never gets soggy.

2. No one has touched my ear inappropriately on the subway.

3. All of my socks seem to be accounted for. Finally.

4. I stopped having dreams about Vicki dressed as Wolverine devouring all my Sunday morning pancakes.

5. Vicki finally admitted that “The Zissou” might be a good name for our pending baby.

6. Vicki got a “body pillow” which means I inherited one of her regular pillows!

7. My mom finally invited me to one of her Super Mario Dance Parties where everyone swings their arms from side to side.

8. No one has yet to invent a cozy winter cap that converts into a coffee mug in case of emergency, which means I still have a chance to blow the minds of millions.

9. Vicki can’t seem to stop touching my ear inappropriately. Ohhh yeah! 


Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.

All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.

In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.

(Taken with instagram)


These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 

If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.


In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.

The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.

Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). 

Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.

She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.


Although my literal interpretation of Bees Knees was a close runner up, I liked this one best for three reasons…

1. I like how the little girls are each holding coffee mugs. 

2. I like that the “Success” motivational poster portrays a cat riding in a tank.

3. I kind of like my idea about taking portraits of folks chewing on pens. I had two terrible experiences in high school where pen ink exploded all over my face without me realizing it, and while it sort of sucked at the time, I think it would’ve made a pretty good portrait.

Anyway, if you’d like to see more of my daily journal entries click here. Most of em are mediocre at best, but whatever, it’s cool.


So yesterday I got myself a moleskine notebook for several pathetic reasons…

1. I want to start each and every day by writing down a list of goals that I’ll never reach. Not now, not never.

2. I want to start writing down ideas for film projects that’ll absolutely never see the light of day. Not today, not tomorrow, not infinity.

3. I want to write down lyrics and jokes for my comedy album that will never happen because the sun will explode first.

4. I’d like to try to draw something every day. Unfortunately for you guys this one might actually happen.

Anyway, if you examine my pathetic list you’ll see that I conquered three of my eight goals today!!! Sadly they were the easiest three conquer, but I reckon a false sense of accomplishment is better than no sense of accomplishment. And to be honest, I’m actually pretty happy with how Biff and Lorraine turned out. Biff’s beard is looking strong, and I rather dig Lorraine’s haircut and mouth.

Finally, this “Daily Journal Thing” might become a regular thing, I dunna know. Feel free to unfollow this blog if you originally followed me because you thought all I did was post photos. Seriously, it’s cool, no hard feelings. I wouldn’t follow me if I was me, that’s for sure.


He acts all chummy,

but is really pissed,

cause in his tummy,

she’s shoved her fist.