A few months back I purchased these mossballs from the back of some hippie’s van in Williamsburg. Ever since then amazing things have been happening to me. Here’s the top nine…
1. My breakfast cereal, whether it be Apple Jacks or Kix, never gets soggy.
2. No one has touched my ear inappropriately on the subway.
3. All of my socks seem to be accounted for. Finally.
4. I stopped having dreams about Vicki dressed as Wolverine devouring all my Sunday morning pancakes.
5. Vicki finally admitted that “The Zissou” might be a good name for our pending baby.
6. Vicki got a “body pillow” which means I inherited one of her regular pillows!
7. My mom finally invited me to one of her Super Mario Dance Parties where everyone swings their arms from side to side.
8. No one has yet to invent a cozy winter cap that converts into a coffee mug in case of emergency, which means I still have a chance to blow the minds of millions.
9. Vicki can’t seem to stop touching my ear inappropriately. Ohhh yeah!