EMI IMPERSONATES TED DANSON

They said it couldn’t be done. “Ted’s verbal cadences are too unpredictable to ever be accurately impersonated” they said. “Ted’s vocalizations are dolphin-esque” they said.

Well, she’s two, and she just nailed it.

 ·  3 notes
EMI’S BABY DANCE PARTY

Yesterday I had the pleasure of working all day shooting hip hop dance videos with the super talented and super fun Seabreeze, which inspired Vicki and myself to get Emi going on a daily hip hop dance regimen. Her first lesson went pretty well, although she wasn’t to thrilled with the “Thunder Clap”. Her “Raise the Roof, Paint the Ceiling” Combo, however, is fresh like a clean pair of socks!

 ·  12 notes

17th January 2012

BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE
Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.
All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.
In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.
(Taken with instagram) BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE
Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.
All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.
In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.
(Taken with instagram)

BOB AND STEVE FROM THE FUTURE

Tonight I ran into Bob and Steve (pictured). They were sent here from the future for one reason and one reason only: to blow up all the sucky people who beg for pepperoni but when the pizza arrives they immediately make a bee line straight for the cheese.

All I could say was “Well it’s about damn time Bob… and Steve”.

In retrospect I should have said something about Bob and Steve still being names in the future. I wonder what year they were from. With names like Bob and Steve I’m guessing mid 2012.

(Taken with instagram)

 ·  17 notes

12th January 2012

BEARD PATROL MINUS ONE REUNION TOUR
Once upon a time I was in a toy instrument band known as “Beard Patrol”. Along with Nick “Money Train” Prevas and Geoff “Thunder Thumbs” Thomas, we took Baltimore by storm one night in Geoff’s basement. Our first two hits were “Cowboy Shirt” and “My Mom’s Ex Boyfriends”.
"My Mom’s Ex-Boy Friends" was literally about my mom’s ex-boyfriends, with a heavy emphasis on Pam Boyfriend number three, the legendary Perry Bowser (I kid you not, that was his real name). Perry Bowser wrote a particularly randy message to my mom in her high school year book involving ice cubes and a shower cap.
Anyway, after the unparalleled success of “My Mom’s Ex-Boyfriends” we obviously had to have a gigantic falling out over a midnight Pancake Breakfast at Denny’s. Beard Patrol was no more.
"Money Train" went on to invent a cozy winter cap that served as a coffee mug in case of emergency, "Thunder Thumbs" parlayed his moniker into a lucrative gig as a thumb model for J.C. Penny’s (which ended tragically when he scalded both of his thumbs in an attempt to use "Money Trains" emergency coffee mug), and I started a tumblr and got Vicki pregnant.
Anyway, a few weeks ago “Money Train” and I had a Beard Patrol mini-reunion tour in my mom’s hallway. “Thunder Thumbs” boycotted the event and gave it two thumbs down on his very unpopular Wordpress blog.
And finally, in case you were wondering, my nickname was Tanner “Butter Beard” Almon. BEARD PATROL MINUS ONE REUNION TOUR
Once upon a time I was in a toy instrument band known as “Beard Patrol”. Along with Nick “Money Train” Prevas and Geoff “Thunder Thumbs” Thomas, we took Baltimore by storm one night in Geoff’s basement. Our first two hits were “Cowboy Shirt” and “My Mom’s Ex Boyfriends”.
"My Mom’s Ex-Boy Friends" was literally about my mom’s ex-boyfriends, with a heavy emphasis on Pam Boyfriend number three, the legendary Perry Bowser (I kid you not, that was his real name). Perry Bowser wrote a particularly randy message to my mom in her high school year book involving ice cubes and a shower cap.
Anyway, after the unparalleled success of “My Mom’s Ex-Boyfriends” we obviously had to have a gigantic falling out over a midnight Pancake Breakfast at Denny’s. Beard Patrol was no more.
"Money Train" went on to invent a cozy winter cap that served as a coffee mug in case of emergency, "Thunder Thumbs" parlayed his moniker into a lucrative gig as a thumb model for J.C. Penny’s (which ended tragically when he scalded both of his thumbs in an attempt to use "Money Trains" emergency coffee mug), and I started a tumblr and got Vicki pregnant.
Anyway, a few weeks ago “Money Train” and I had a Beard Patrol mini-reunion tour in my mom’s hallway. “Thunder Thumbs” boycotted the event and gave it two thumbs down on his very unpopular Wordpress blog.
And finally, in case you were wondering, my nickname was Tanner “Butter Beard” Almon.

BEARD PATROL MINUS ONE REUNION TOUR

Once upon a time I was in a toy instrument band known as “Beard Patrol”. Along with Nick “Money Train” Prevas and Geoff “Thunder Thumbs” Thomas, we took Baltimore by storm one night in Geoff’s basement. Our first two hits were “Cowboy Shirt” and “My Mom’s Ex Boyfriends”.

"My Mom’s Ex-Boy Friends" was literally about my mom’s ex-boyfriends, with a heavy emphasis on Pam Boyfriend number three, the legendary Perry Bowser (I kid you not, that was his real name). Perry Bowser wrote a particularly randy message to my mom in her high school year book involving ice cubes and a shower cap.

Anyway, after the unparalleled success of “My Mom’s Ex-Boyfriends” we obviously had to have a gigantic falling out over a midnight Pancake Breakfast at Denny’s. Beard Patrol was no more.

"Money Train" went on to invent a cozy winter cap that served as a coffee mug in case of emergency, "Thunder Thumbs" parlayed his moniker into a lucrative gig as a thumb model for J.C. Penny’s (which ended tragically when he scalded both of his thumbs in an attempt to use "Money Trains" emergency coffee mug), and I started a tumblr and got Vicki pregnant.

Anyway, a few weeks ago “Money Train” and I had a Beard Patrol mini-reunion tour in my mom’s hallway. “Thunder Thumbs” boycotted the event and gave it two thumbs down on his very unpopular Wordpress blog.

And finally, in case you were wondering, my nickname was Tanner “Butter Beard” Almon.

 ·  26 notes

23rd December 2011

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23rd December 2011

2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.
2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS
These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 
If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.

2011 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECTS

These were all rejected as “keepers” because Vicki obviously was refusing to take the shoot seriously. I know it’s probably hard to focus when you’ve got a fetus stealing all your nutrients, but damn, it’s not like I was asking her to do taxes for a grumpy porcupine. 

If you’d like to see our “real” card click here.

 ·  52 notes

22nd December 2011

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22nd December 2011

APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.

APOCALYPTIC BUNKO

In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.

The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.

Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush). 

Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.

She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.

 ·  42 notes
FURBALLS, PUMPKINS, AND PIZZA… OH MY!

If you’re looking for some easy peasy pranks to pull on Mischief Night, check out this how-to video brought to you by the two most adorable troublemakers in the whole wide world.

For those of you new to the game, click HERE to see the origin of all things furball.

 ·  59 notes
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