MOON WALKERS

When I’m not…

a. trying to figure how the hell we’re gonna fit a baby in our apartment

b. planning my trip to Guatemala to punch Captain Worthless in the face for stealing my brand new portable telephone and taking it all the way to freakin’ Guatemala!!!

c. gaining weight

and/or

d. buying Vicki flowers…

this is what I’m working on. Actually, I think I can scratch “c” of the list, seeing as I can probably gain weight and use Lightroom simultaneously.

Check me out double taskin’ like a clock radio, sweet!

POEM NUMBER SIXTY FOUR

Deep in the ocean, 

he will soon meet his doom,

because he stole the promotion,

from the guy with the broom.

…………………………………………..

Read my other sixty-three “poems about my pictures” here.

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 18 - JAPANESE SOCIETY OF LEAPFROG EXCELLENCE

I’ve gotta hand it to the good folks of Japan, they keep it real with the leapfrog well into their teenage years. In America we tend to abandon leapfrog for dodge ball in around first or second grade. As such, most American adults are absolutely terrible at jumping over their coworkers. Not to worry though, they are great at dodging flying adults, and thus injuries are quite rare.

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 44 - “ROCK CLIMBING MAN WHO MADE ME HAPPY AND SAD”

I sort of remember being all excited when I saw this guy up on the rock. I also sort of remember being all excited when I took this picture.

But here is what I remember most… looking at this picture and complaining to Vicki about the guy on the rock. I remember saying “why couldn’t he be wearing a red jacket, this photo would be so much cooler if he was in a red jacket, and where’s his winter cap, this photo would be so much cooler if he had a cozy winter cap, why did this guy ruin my photo Vicki, why???” I then told Vicki to put on my cozy winter cap and climb the rock and pose like a “little rock creature”. She took my hat but refused to climb the rock or pose like a “little rock creature”.

Still, gotta give this guy much respect for figuring out how to get up on that big ol’ rock.

PLACES OF JAPAN 15 - “A TREE, A SKY, AND AN OCEAN”

So a tree, a sky, and an ocean walk into a bar and the tree says “Damn Ocean, how’d you get so wet?”. The ocean replies “I’m made out of water you idiot, it’s pretty obvious”. As the tree attempts to think of a witty comeback, the sky says “Hey guys, how the hell did we all fit in this bar? I mean, I’m the sky, how the hell is this bar bigger than me?”. The ocean says “Good point Sky. Come to think of it, I don’t even have hands, much less a throat, how the hell am I gonna drink a beer?”. The sky says “I know, right! I don’t have hands or a throat either. What were we thinking coming to a bar. We sure botched this one fellas”. The tree lifts up his roots and says “If you’ll excuse me gentleman, I’ll be at the bar”. As the tree proceeds to soak up a Miller High Life, the sky and the ocean dejectedly play darts in the back of the bar.

PLACES OF JAPAN 14 - “CUTE LITTLE RED SNOWBALL STAND SHRINE ON CLIFF”

As we approached this cute little red building I convinced myself that it would be a Japanese snowball stand. I was literally wondering if they would have a chicken teriyaki flavored snowball, and if so, would I try it, or would I play it safe and go with the tutti frutti. Fortunately it turned out to be a shrine so I didn’t have to make this difficult decision.

PLACES OF JAPAN 13 - “WAVES CRASH INTO DAVE MATTHEWS”

Actually, on second look, the waves appear to be crashing into rocks, not Dave Matthews. I apologize for the confusion, Vicki and I spent most of this morning making a Dave Matthews Pancake Sculpture and I guess he was just on my mind when I sat down to write this post. Again, if you spent a few hours looking for Dave in this photo, I offer my sincerest apology. This is very embarrassing and hopefully will never happen again.

Note: I know this may be hard to believe, but the only drug I’ve ever been on is Advil. Actually, that’s a lie, I took Ambien once and literally started talking to the walls in our apartment (Vicki had video of this which I unfortunately made her delete when she showed it to me the next morning). Seriously, if you don’t go right to bed when you take Ambien strange things can happen, look it up on Google, it’s scary.

TUMBLR EXCLUSIVE - “VICKI FINALLY GETS HER OWN COZY WINTER CAP!!!”

After several days of Vicki using and abusing MY cozy winter cap, we finally found her a cozy winter cap to call her own. While obviously not as cozy as MY cozy winter cap, it nevertheless did it’s job. Actually, I take that back, it didn’t do it’s job at all because eventually we had to supplement her cozy winter cap with a pair of cozy winter earmuffs. Good grief, the amount of drama we had with cozy winter caps and cozy winter earmuffs during our brief trip to Japan is unbelievable. I’m not kidding, I could probably write a book about all of our cozy winter cap drama. And poor Vicki’s dad (also pictured above), that guy never had a cozy winter cap, his ears must have been freezing.

PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”

Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.

Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.

I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 

Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.