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Hi, I'm Tanner. I like cloudy days and fish tanks. I have a wife and a kid. I like them as well.
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During our one day in Kyoto I became rather infatuated with these tiny pieces of folded up paper tied to strings. The reason for my infatuation was simple: they looked pretty cool, and I’m a sucker for stuff that looks pretty cool (my wife Vicki is a perfect example of this, she is often a devil woman who will stop at nothing to steal my cozy winter cap, but she looks pretty cool, so I married her).

Anyway, my infatuation turned into an all out obsession once I learned the story behind these tiny rolled up pieces of paper. Here it is…

The various temples and shrines of Japan all sell fortunes, called Omikuji. If you draw a good Omikuji you fold that sucker back up, shove it in your pocket, and take it home and enjoy the hell out of your newfound good luck. But if you draw a bad Omikuji, well, your basically doomed, unless you follow these three simple steps…

1. Don’t freak out, play it cool! Whatever you do, definitely don’t call your mom for help, that’s pathetic. You can beat this thing.

2. Once you have your cool under control, casually begin walking around the shrine until you find a string or branch that has several other bad Omikuji tied to it.

3. Tie your Omikuji to said string or branch and run like hell (unless you have high blood pressure, if that’s the case you should probably just walk fast).

If you follow these three simple steps all is good, you have nothing to worry about. Basically what will happen is that the “Divine Spirit” will use it’s special skills to exorcise the bad luck. Think of the Divine Spirit as a big fat sponge that soaks up evil instead of water.

Anyway, I thought that was a really cool, albeit mildly terrifying, aspect of Japanese culture.

Here’s a few more pictures of some bad luck Omikuji…





If you don’t know what famous SNL sketch is being referenced by my title than you are most likely a delinquent kid who could use a visit from motivation speaker Matt Foley.

I’m embarrassed to even write this as I love my wife, but not only did Vicki NOT get the reference, she also went on to add that the van in this photo is nowhere near a river. I clearly married a delinquent who likes to rub it in. Damn. 


As far as I can tell I’ve got two options…

1. I can let this rather mysterious photo stand on it’s own as a photograph and not ruin it with some stupid caption. 

2. I can write something about Clark Kent’s regrettable business trip to Japan where he had several awkward encounters in Japanese phone booths.

Damn, I think I just went with option two without even realizing it.


I figured since I’ve been posting a bit about my film school experience lately I’d just keep the ball rolling for this week’s edition of “Flashback Friday”. The polaroid you see here was taken during the creation of a film I made during my junior year called Method for Self-Defense Against Scorpions.

In this exclusive behind-the-scenes photograph you can see my main man Geoff sitting before a microphone and smiling like the happy man that he is. You probably assume that he’s doing a voiceover of some sort. In reality this is not the case, what he’s actually doing is chewing on Peanut Butter M&M’s in an effort to create the nice crunchy sound of a violent scorpion being devoured. Once the M&M’s were gone we spent the rest of the evening stomping on eggs and throwing cantaloupes. It was quite messy but worth it as the sound effects turned out to be pretty damn good in Method for Self-Defense Against Scorpions.


The look on his face says it all… someone just showed him my blog. 

I’m not sure why, but of all my chef photos this one is my personal favorite. Maybe it’s the composition, or maybe it’s because this one reveals the chef’s sidekick.


No, they’re not mogwais, but still, pretty damn cute. My only gripe is that I wish the one in yellow was wearing blue so they could be named Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.

Also, thank you everyone for your brilliant replies to my previous post where I asked the following question…

"At what point after midnight does it become safe to feed a mogwai?"

Although I received several different ideas and suggestions, they all seem to suggest that an 8am pancake breakfast with a mogwai would be safe. What a relief! Thank you!