photography | TANNER BLOG

Jul
09

HIPSTER MANNEQUIN IN UNDERPANTS EATEN BY KITCHEN PLAYSET!!! Couple of things about this one… 1. I took this polaroid around seven years ago. It served as a “vital clue” in my student film Nomar Number 3. 2. It’s clear that my recent obsession with underpants may not be so recent after all. 3. Of all the disturbing things happening in this photo, I find the missing shoe to be the most disturbing element of all. I’m not sure why, but the absence of the second hi-top is just really unsettling. Of course the band-aid on the right knee is pretty strange as well.

HIPSTER MANNEQUIN IN UNDERPANTS EATEN BY KITCHEN PLAYSET!!!

Couple of things about this one…

1. I took this polaroid around seven years ago. It served as a “vital clue” in my student film Nomar Number 3.

2. It’s clear that my recent obsession with underpants may not be so recent after all.

3. Of all the disturbing things happening in this photo, I find the missing shoe to be the most disturbing element of all. I’m not sure why, but the absence of the second hi-top is just really unsettling. Of course the band-aid on the right knee is pretty strange as well.

Jun
03

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 15 - TANNER HEARTS VICKI

In June of 2004 Vicki paid a visit to my place and we burnt off a few sparklers. I remember acquiring the sparklers from a guy at school named Dale for five bucks and a half-eaten pack of Skittles. As much as it killed me having to give up the last of my Skittles, the deal was definitely worth it as it gave Vicki and I something to do besides make out and/or throw rocks at stop signs. Here’s a few photos documenting our sparkler fueled night…

I like how my feet appear to be orbs of light. Way to be New Balance reflectors! 

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Vicki in the thick of it. How her arms and face didn’t get burnt to all hell is still a mystery to me.

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Vicki looking like a young half asian Hermione Granger with her wizard wand.

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I don’t really have anything to write about this one except that Vicki’s pants look really comfortable.

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Vicki perfecting her “sparkler hula hoop”.

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I wish I could still fit into that shirt.

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Oh no, we’re out of sparklers! Should we go make out or throw rocks at stop signs?

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Thought this one looked kind of neat.

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Same with this one.

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This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shi… damn, sparklers don’t shine too long.

Apr
20

VICKI GETS MAD AT TANNER IN JAPAN 01 - “MONK DRAMA” As we were leaving a shrine during our day in Kyoto we came upon the adorable woman pictured above. For some reason Vicki decided to actually be nice for once in her life by donating some money to the woman. I know you’re probably thinking “Yeah right, Vicki would never do anything nice for anyone, if anything she’d try to steal that woman’s lovely cap. Pics or didn’t happen”. Well, it’s true, and here’s a few pics to prove it… Here is an exact transcript, per verbatim, of the conversation I had with Vicki a few moments after I took these photos… Me: “Wow, the homeless people in Japan are so polite. I can’t believe she actually bowed to you, that’s so cool.” Vicki: “She’s not homeless you idiot, she’s a monk.” Me: “Seriously? That’s crazy, why’d I think she was homeless?” Vicki: “Please don’t talk” Me: “I didn’t even know women could be monks. That’s pretty cool.” Vicki: “Seriously, keep you’re mouth shut!” At this point Vicki walked to the other side of the street and pretended not to know me.

VICKI GETS MAD AT TANNER IN JAPAN 01 - “MONK DRAMA”

As we were leaving a shrine during our day in Kyoto we came upon the adorable woman pictured above. For some reason Vicki decided to actually be nice for once in her life by donating some money to the woman. I know you’re probably thinking “Yeah right, Vicki would never do anything nice for anyone, if anything she’d try to steal that woman’s lovely cap. Pics or didn’t happen”. Well, it’s true, and here’s a few pics to prove it…

Here is an exact transcript, per verbatim, of the conversation I had with Vicki a few moments after I took these photos…

Me: “Wow, the homeless people in Japan are so polite. I can’t believe she actually bowed to you, that’s so cool.”

Vicki: “She’s not homeless you idiot, she’s a monk.”

Me: “Seriously? That’s crazy, why’d I think she was homeless?”

Vicki: “Please don’t talk”

Me: “I didn’t even know women could be monks. That’s pretty cool.”

Vicki: “Seriously, keep you’re mouth shut!”

At this point Vicki walked to the other side of the street and pretended not to know me.

Apr
19

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 02 - “AKASHI AND MELISSA LOVE PETER GABRIEL” Pictured above is a close-up of a Japanese ema. What’s an ema you ask? Well, according to the internet an ema is a “small wooden plaque found in Japanese shrines onto which patrons write down prayers or wishes”. I saw quite a few emas during my day spent in Kyoto, but only one was worthy of the What Up With That Ema? award. So, without further ado, I present the first ever What Up With That Ema? award to… AKASHI AND MELISSA!!! Congratulations you two, the ema you created together on November 7th, 2010 made very little sense to me!!! Here is what I found to be most confusing about your ema… 1. I see that “retardation” is first on your list, followed by a smiley face. So I gotta ask, are you wishing and/or praying for retardation? 2. Why the “RPG”? I get that you obviously mean “Remember Peter Gabriel”, which is nice and all, but lets be honest, Genesis was nothing until Phil Collins took the helm. Also, as far as I know, Peter Gabriel is still alive, so why the need to remember him?  3. Your third line reads as follows… “BRIGHT FUTURE. WILD AND STUPID.” I’m sorry, but you can’t have both. Either cross out the “bright future” bit if you want to be stupid, or cross out the “wild & stupid” bit if you want a bright future. You can’t have it both ways… you just can’t. 4. You wrote “BEACH!” twice, which is fine, but it’s redundant and irritating to the viewer. Next time just one “BEACH!” will do, thank you. Finally, if Akashi or Melissa ever read this, please know that I am just joking and absolutely adore your ema! I truly hope that you two are relaxing on a beach somewhere jammin’ out to some classic Peter Gabriel. And Akashi, if you ever think about marrying Melissa, I think you should invest in a boom box and go the whole John Cusack In Your Eyes route, she’ll love it, trust me. Anyway, here’s a few more photos of some of the less interesting ema I saw while in Japan…

CONFUSING STUFF IN JAPAN 02 - “AKASHI AND MELISSA LOVE PETER GABRIEL”

Pictured above is a close-up of a Japanese ema. What’s an ema you ask? Well, according to the internet an ema is a “small wooden plaque found in Japanese shrines onto which patrons write down prayers or wishes”.

I saw quite a few emas during my day spent in Kyoto, but only one was worthy of the What Up With That Ema? award. So, without further ado, I present the first ever What Up With That Ema? award to…

AKASHI AND MELISSA!!!

Congratulations you two, the ema you created together on November 7th, 2010 made very little sense to me!!! Here is what I found to be most confusing about your ema…

1. I see that “retardation” is first on your list, followed by a smiley face. So I gotta ask, are you wishing and/or praying for retardation?

2. Why the “RPG”? I get that you obviously mean “Remember Peter Gabriel”, which is nice and all, but lets be honest, Genesis was nothing until Phil Collins took the helm. Also, as far as I know, Peter Gabriel is still alive, so why the need to remember him? 

3. Your third line reads as follows… “BRIGHT FUTURE. WILD AND STUPID.” I’m sorry, but you can’t have both. Either cross out the “bright future” bit if you want to be stupid, or cross out the “wild & stupid” bit if you want a bright future. You can’t have it both ways… you just can’t.

4. You wrote “BEACH!” twice, which is fine, but it’s redundant and irritating to the viewer. Next time just one “BEACH!” will do, thank you.

Finally, if Akashi or Melissa ever read this, please know that I am just joking and absolutely adore your ema! I truly hope that you two are relaxing on a beach somewhere jammin’ out to some classic Peter Gabriel. And Akashi, if you ever think about marrying Melissa, I think you should invest in a boom box and go the whole John Cusack In Your Eyes route, she’ll love it, trust me.

Anyway, here’s a few more photos of some of the less interesting ema I saw while in Japan…

Mar
01

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 16 - “COOL COWBOYS LIVE IN OLD MOVIES” This sign was so awesome, yet so confusing, all at the same time. Here’s how our little sign adventure went down… Me: “I’m so confused? Is this sign pro-smoking or anti-smoking? I think it’s gotta be anti-smoking, right? But at the same time it’s making me want to smoke, so I’m not sure what to think. I’m torn Vicki… I’m a torn man.” Vicki: “Good grief torn man! It’s not even about smoking! It’s about littering.” Me: “Really, I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure it’s definitely about smok” Vicki (yelling): “IT’S SO OBVIOUS!!!” At this point I give Vicki a grumpy look and then proceed to closely examine the sign for about thirty seconds. Me: “Hmmm… I see what you’re saying, but the question nonetheless remains… is it pro-littering or anti-littering? As such, I remain a torn man.” Vicki: “AGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!” An awkward silence ensues. After a minute or so I break the tension with this little gem… Me: “So, whaddya think the odds are of us actually finding chicken teriyaki today?” At this point Vicki threw her cup of coffee at me. Me: “Looks like someone is living in an old movie!” Vicki (reluctantly): “Okay… that’s actually kind of funny.”

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 16 - “COOL COWBOYS LIVE IN OLD MOVIES”

This sign was so awesome, yet so confusing, all at the same time. Here’s how our little sign adventure went down…

Me: “I’m so confused? Is this sign pro-smoking or anti-smoking? I think it’s gotta be anti-smoking, right? But at the same time it’s making me want to smoke, so I’m not sure what to think. I’m torn Vicki… I’m a torn man.”

Vicki: “Good grief torn man! It’s not even about smoking! It’s about littering.”

Me: “Really, I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure it’s definitely about smok”

Vicki (yelling): “IT’S SO OBVIOUS!!!”

At this point I give Vicki a grumpy look and then proceed to closely examine the sign for about thirty seconds.

Me: “Hmmm… I see what you’re saying, but the question nonetheless remains… is it pro-littering or anti-littering? As such, I remain a torn man.”

Vicki: “AGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

An awkward silence ensues. After a minute or so I break the tension with this little gem…

Me: “So, whaddya think the odds are of us actually finding chicken teriyaki today?”

At this point Vicki threw her cup of coffee at me.

Me: “Looks like someone is living in an old movie!”

Vicki (reluctantly): “Okay… that’s actually kind of funny.”

Feb
23

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 29 - “IRON CHEF LAYS IT DOWN” I hope you like this guy because today my blog’s gonna be ALL IRON CHEF ALL THE TIME, as I took quite a few photos of this charismatic chef.  When I look at this one I picture that woman with her hand out attempting to “lay it down”. She’s probably saying “I want some some Chicken Teriyaki and I want it now!”. But then the Iron Chef lays it down harder by saying “Damn woman, step off, this is Japan, there’s no Chicken Teriyaki here!!!”.  Note: Quite a few of you seemed to think that I was joking when I said in a previous post that there was “no Chicken Teriyaki in Japan”. Trust me, that was no joke. I spent 8 days in Japan and at every single meal (even breakfast) I attempted to order Chicken Teriyaki. Not once did I get it. I’m pretty sure it’s an American thing.

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 29 - “IRON CHEF LAYS IT DOWN”

I hope you like this guy because today my blog’s gonna be ALL IRON CHEF ALL THE TIME, as I took quite a few photos of this charismatic chef. 

When I look at this one I picture that woman with her hand out attempting to “lay it down”. She’s probably saying “I want some some Chicken Teriyaki and I want it now!”. But then the Iron Chef lays it down harder by saying “Damn woman, step off, this is Japan, there’s no Chicken Teriyaki here!!!”. 

Note: Quite a few of you seemed to think that I was joking when I said in a previous post that there was “no Chicken Teriyaki in Japan”. Trust me, that was no joke. I spent 8 days in Japan and at every single meal (even breakfast) I attempted to order Chicken Teriyaki. Not once did I get it. I’m pretty sure it’s an American thing.

Feb
22

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 28 - “PINK LIPSTICK” In addition to her pink lipstick I also really like her paper cap. However, my favorite part is her winning attitude. I really miss Japan, everyone was so nice. I only had two minor quibbles… 1. I could never find a trash can. Where are your trash cans Japan!!! Does no one in Japan snack on the go??? 2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… THERE IS NO CHICKEN TERIYAKI IN JAPAN!!!

PEOPLE OF JAPAN 28 - “PINK LIPSTICK”

In addition to her pink lipstick I also really like her paper cap. However, my favorite part is her winning attitude. I really miss Japan, everyone was so nice. I only had two minor quibbles…

1. I could never find a trash can. Where are your trash cans Japan!!! Does no one in Japan snack on the go???

2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… THERE IS NO CHICKEN TERIYAKI IN JAPAN!!!