MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND WITHOUT VICKI
Rigby’s already tanked. Typical.
At least I’ve got Senorita Maggie to cheer me on with her magic maraca.
SPACE FURBALLS MAKES ME SAD
Because I’ll be staring at them all damn weekend as I try to manipulate their space-age furball bodies in Adobe After Effects. But before I can even get started on that inevitable motion graphics disaster, I’m first gonna have to cut these furballs out from their backgrounds in Photoshop, which unfortunately will be quite a bit harder than originally anticipated.
Way to shoot grey fuzzy hats in front of big grey wall Tanner! Of all the colors in the world so shoot a grey fuzzy hat in front of, you picked the absolute worst one for what you are trying to do! Congratulations, here’s a free iPhone so you can call your mom and tell her just how much of a disappointment you really are!!!
Finally, in case you are curious as to what the graffiti behind me says, here ya go…
“MY FREEZER IS MY HUSBAND AND MY HUSBAND IS MY FREEZER”
Apparently a woman near where I live married a freezer. She’s gonna have way more fun this weekend with her freezer husband than I’m gonna have with After Effects, that’s for sure.
DOMESTIC ABUSE IN JAPAN 01 - “BRUISED KNEES AND USED BUNNIES”
This is what happens when you say “Sorry Vicki, but I rather like my cozy winter cap, you can’t have it today”.
For those of you new to the game, this is Vicki, she’s my wife. She’s pretty hot, but not as hot as her temper. Also, she is completely obsessed with my cozy winter cap.
SAD STUFF IN JAPAN 02 - “MY WIFE’S PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT A COZY WINTER CAP”
Not even a pair of furball earmuffs could save this train wreck of coziness. Trust me, Vicki may look cute and comfy in this photo, but it’s all acting. As soon as the camera was off she was literally begging me for my cozy winter cap. I said “Hell no woman! It’s not my fault you created some haphazard frankenstein contraption to keep your head warm! I’d rather give you a kiss in public than give up my cozy winter cap!!!” (If you know me this is sort of funny as I am VERY against public displays of affection).
Anyway, I think it goes without saying that Vicki ultimately ended up with my cozy winter cap. Once she starts talking with her fists I tend to give in to her demands.
To read more tales of our cozy winter cap drama while in Japan click here, here, or here.
COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 15 - “IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER”
If you don’t know what famous SNL sketch is being referenced by my title than you are most likely a delinquent kid who could use a visit from motivation speaker Matt Foley.
I’m embarrassed to even write this as I love my wife, but not only did Vicki NOT get the reference, she also went on to add that the van in this photo is nowhere near a river. I clearly married a delinquent who likes to rub it in. Damn.
PLACES OF JAPAN 08 - “SUMO
I say it’s a Sumo Tent, Vicki says it’s a Sumo Pit, but then she changes her mind and says that it’s actually a Sumo Ring. Since she’s obviously not sure what the hell it is I decided to follow my gut and go with “tent”. Obviously Vicki wasn’t too happy with this decision and punched me in the gut, so I crossed out tent and wrote “ring”. Everyone wins.
Anyway, this tent was literally two blocks from Vicki’s Grandmom’s house, how cool is that? I like picturing Vicki’s cute little 89-year-old Grandmom sneaking out at midnight and participating in an “Underground Senior Sumo Club”. As awesome as Fight Club was, I think a similar film starring Vicki’s Grandmom and my Grandpa Herb called Senior Sumo Club would be much funnier.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 25 - “ADORABLE HAT LADIES ON TROLLEY”
After I took this picture I told Vicki that she needed to get a cute little hat. She politely replied, “that’s not necessary because I can steal your cozy winter cap whenever I want”.
PEOPLE OF AMERICA IN JAPAN 04 - “OFF WITH HIS COZY WINTER CAP!”
Princess Vicki mocks me with the cozy winter cap that was once mine. I remember it so clearly… “Off with his head!” she screamed, quickly adding, “STOP!!! I meant to say hat, off with his hat… my bad”.
PEOPLE OF AMERICA IN JAPAN 02 - “VICKI STOLE MY COZY WINTER CAP”
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Kochi Castle was basically a freezing popsicle stand in the form of a castle. As I was hopping around in my frozen tube socks attempting to avoid a sure case of hypothermia, Vicki somehow mustered up the nerve to ask me to let her borrow my cozy winter cap. Obviously I responded with a firm “Hell no woman, get your own damn cozy winter cap!”. She quickly retaliated with her own version of the sad panda face and my heart immediately melted. During this fleeting moment of warmth I was bamboozled into giving up my cozy winter cap. Damn you Vicki and your “sad panda face” trickery!
Also, I do indeed realize that this shot is a bit crooked, likely due to my frost bitten fingers. I guess I could fix it in post but who has time for that when you have to write a stupid story about every single picture you post.
How’s it going? Sorry for basically jumping ship and and slowly sinking away from the tumblr boat for the past month or so. Long story short I was in Japan and started to get pretty sick on my last day. After about three weeks of the worst cough ever I’m finally just starting to feel better. It’s quite nice today being back online and seeing what you all are up to.
That being said one of my New Year’s resolutions is to spend less time on the internet, so my Tumblr might not be as active as last year, but we’ll see how that goes. I already have a plan to keep My Mom Reviews My Photos going on a much more limited basis.
Oh, and for anyone curious about this photo…
The second to last day we were in Japan Vicki and I stumbled upon a cute pair of awesome Elephant “onesies” and a sweet pair of Mario and Luigi replica caps. The plan was to spend our final day taking pictures all over Tokyo as “The Super Mario Elephants”. Unfortunately by the time we got on the subway I was ready to keel over. The photo you see here of “Sick Luigi” is about as far as we got that day in terms of pictures. Quite a few photographic dreams were not achieved that day. Quite a few indeed.