Vicki’s eagerly been waiting for flowers since October, so she quite literally has a gigantic water balloon full of anticipation swirling around inside her belly (along with Bunko Junior). If I were to suddenly hand her flowers at this point, that tense balloon would immediately pop and release a gigantic tidal wave of anticipation all over Baby Bunko. 

So the point is, I gave Vicki a baby, and for the good of the baby, I absolutely cannot give her flowers. Don’t cry for Vicki, cry for me, the tragic guy who wishes he could give his wife flowers but can’t for the good of a fetus.

Perhaps I should stop writing “Buy Vicki Flowers” on my sort of daily to do list. 

My wife’s pregnant, I have really bad hiccups, and I can’t find any of my damn socks. So to simultaneously answer your question and quote my main man Phil Collins… “Tonight Tonight Tonight Ohhh Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

At least that’s my plan, but we’ll see, I’m pretty good at being bad at tumblr. If you’d like to check out the most non-daily daily project ever click here. 

Wow, thanks Emma! That’s really cool you dug through all my silly online projects, much appreciated! I’m glad you seem to enjoy my “theoretical” backstories, haha! I’ve always tried to make this blog just as much about creative writing as photography, so it’s really nice to know that folks like yourself actually take the time to read it.

Cheers!

Tanner

YEAH RIGHT I DON’T SMOKE NO WEED!!! WEED IS FOR FOLKS WITH NORMAL BRAINS WHO WANNA BREAK THEIR BRAINS. MY BRAIN’S ALREADY BROKEN SO I DON’T NEED NO WEED!!!

Seriously though, I’ve never touched the weed. To be honest, the only drug that’s ever really been in my body is Advil. Actually, that’s not quite true, I did take Ambien this past December on a flight to Japan and “allegedly” spent twenty or so minutes loudly yelling incoherent gibberish while violently rubbing the back of the seat in front of me. I have no memory of this, but apparently it was quite embarrassing for my wife.

And in case anyone cares, I actually had my first beer ever while in Japan (and my second, and my third). Here’s a picture of me enjoying my third beer ever with the legendary Tokyo Ras…

Wow, thanks so much! I’m not sure how great my mind is, if anything, I think it may be a bit broken. I’ve never stuck with a journal either, but posting this most recent one to tumblr each day has been kind of motivating me to keep it going. 

Anyway, you should really start a journal!!! In terms of my journal I’m most happy that it’s gotten me “drawing” again, although I’m unfortunately nowhere near as good at it as I once was (this is really sad to admit, but I think being forced to draw charcoal still life’s of bottles and fruit in high school kind of turned me off of the whole drawing thing for about 15 years). Yep, that’s right, I’m 32 years old. Do not be fooled people! Although my entire journal (content and handwriting) appears to be the work of a lazy ten year old, I’m actually probably old enough to be your dad!!! 

So the plot has thickened!!! They say that still waters run deep, and while that may be so, they run nowhere near as deep as the Great Chicken Teriyaki Conspiracy of 2010 orchestrated by Vicki and her Grandma. I knew her Grandma was too good to be true. Mark my words, behind every sweet Japanese Grandma lies a sinister plot involving Chicken Teriyaki and Mushroom Soup!!!

As I sink my teeth deeper into this most chewy of conspiracies, I’m quickly becoming convinced that Vicki’s Grandma put her evil plan into motion via a top secret call to Hans Gruber from this sinister phone booth in Kochi.

To be continued…

Hmmm… if there is in fact chicken teriyaki in Japan the only possible explanation is as follows…

Vicki called up her people in Japan and they decided to pull some sort of sick elaborate Truman Show-esque type hoax on me. I’m pretty sure that every time I approached a restaurant a secret trap door would spin around and hide all of the chicken teriyaki. I’m probably on some reality show right now called “Stupid Americans Looking for Chicken Teriyaki”.

Anyway, thanks for the info Bel. I’ll definitely be confronting Vicki about my conspiracy theory tonight. I know she called her people!!!

If for some crazy reason you’d like to read more tales of my Chicken Teriyaki drama during my recent trip to Japan feel free to click here.

Thanks Pixelman!!! Although I must admit, I don’t think my journal project is nearly as interesting as you make it out to be. You seriously need to check out some other Tumblahs! 

That being said, I’m definitely happy with my decision to start uploading my journal to the mighty tumblrverse. I think that blogging my journal each night before bed will help motivate me to finally stick with a journal for once. So far so good I guess.

Oh, and about those FedEx girls, I don’t think I’ll ever figure out why they hate me so much. It’s literally reached the point where I expect to go into FedEx and watch the girl behind the counter text for twenty minutes before she even acknowledges my presence (by acknowledge I mean reluctantly glance up from her phone, roll her eyes at me, and sigh).

I’m not kidding, just last week a FedEx girl was packaging a camera I was shipping. With fear in my eyes I asked her to please bubble wrap it, at which point she literally threw a roll of bubble wrap at me and said “you gotta do that yourself and pay for the bubble wrap”. I just don’t get it.

Haha, thanks Tim. I really think you need to make some time to start writing your own “To Do” list. If you do, please be sure to include several potential artistic collaborations with Fredrik. That would definitely make my day.

Thanks for asking about my shoulder. Basically my right shoulder’s just been messed up for the last few years. I had surgery on my left shoulder eleven years ago for a pinched nerve, and I think the same thing has now happened to my right shoulder. Blah blah blah complain complain complain.

Oh, and don’t you worry, before I die I’ll be sure to film a scene where Vicki and I have a heated argument in bed about who is better at burrowing into pillows. It shouldn’t be to hard as we have that same argument almost every single night, I just need to turn on a camera and record it. I’m sure Vicki will find it ‘nice’ so long as she gets to be the “Champion Pillow Burrower”.

Finally, if you’re reading this and are confused, click here and all of your questions will be answ…. actually, it’ll probably just make you more confused, disregard.