salton sea | TANNER BLOG

Aug
06

APOCALYPTIC BUNKO Before she came to be known as “Bunko the Brave”, she was simply “Bunko the Broken” from the land of “Bunko the Barren”. The photograph above is actually the first ever documented photograph of young Bunko. Here’s the story of our first encounter… I was out in the desert on a routine spiritual quest when I stumbled upon this “sunken city”. As I walked around looking for something to steal I saw a young feral woman with one beautiful eye admiring my Bob Seger T Shirt. I fed her some Sour Patch Kids and then we sat in my Honda Element (pictured, far left) and I played her “Night Moves”. A few years later we were married, blah blah blah.

APOCALYPTIC BUNKO

Before she came to be known as “Bunko the Brave”, she was simply “Bunko the Broken” from the land of “Bunko the Barren”. The photograph above is actually the first ever documented photograph of young Bunko. Here’s the story of our first encounter…

I was out in the desert on a routine spiritual quest when I stumbled upon this “sunken city”. As I walked around looking for something to steal I saw a young feral woman with one beautiful eye admiring my Bob Seger T Shirt. I fed her some Sour Patch Kids and then we sat in my Honda Element (pictured, far left) and I played her “Night Moves”. A few years later we were married, blah blah blah.

Jul
14

TANNER TANNER

This one time I got a perm and I thought it was awesome so I went on the internet and hired a professional photographer to take some glamourous headshots of me so that I could send them to Hollywood and get a job as an actor on the TV show Full House. I was thinking that I could play Danny Tanner’s long lost illegitimate son, Tanner Tanner. 

May
27

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!” So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project. Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks! Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks. Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!”

So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project.

Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks!

Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks.

Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?

Apr
22

GREAT MOMENTS IN PHOTOSHOP EXCELLENCE 04 - “BEHIND THE SCENES OF A MEDIOCRE ANIMATED GIF” Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at the animated couch jumping GIF that I posted here yesterday.  I’m not sure why, but the behind-the-scenes of my stuff always seems to be more interesting than my actual stuff. I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s definitely not a good thing, but I’m not so sure it’s a bad thing either. Regardless, it’s definitely some sort of thing. Actually, I just made up my mind, it’s definitely a bad thing. Damn, that sucks.

GREAT MOMENTS IN PHOTOSHOP EXCELLENCE 04 - “BEHIND THE SCENES OF A MEDIOCRE ANIMATED GIF”

Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at the animated couch jumping GIF that I posted here yesterday. 

I’m not sure why, but the behind-the-scenes of my stuff always seems to be more interesting than my actual stuff. I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s definitely not a good thing, but I’m not so sure it’s a bad thing either. Regardless, it’s definitely some sort of thing. Actually, I just made up my mind, it’s definitely a bad thing. Damn, that sucks.

Apr
21

Apr
08

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE” This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it. The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had… Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.” Me: “Like, with a baby?” Vicki: “Yep.” Me: “Not a good time woman.”

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE”

This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it.

The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had…

Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.”

Me: “Like, with a baby?”

Vicki: “Yep.”

Me: “Not a good time woman.”

Dec
20

Past Christmas Classics: 2008 CHRISTMAS CARD (back) “OLD FAITHFUL” We did WAY too many takes of this as having the can explode right when the timer went off proved to be quite challenging. I was literally covered in soaking wet Miller High Life and deeply regret not bringing a change of clothes, much less a towel, to this shoot. The three hour drive back to our apartment was extremely damp, sticky, and smelly. Had I been pulled over things could have been pretty interesting.

Past Christmas Classics: 2008 CHRISTMAS CARD (back)

“OLD FAITHFUL”

We did WAY too many takes of this as having the can explode right when the timer went off proved to be quite challenging. I was literally covered in soaking wet Miller High Life and deeply regret not bringing a change of clothes, much less a towel, to this shoot. The three hour drive back to our apartment was extremely damp, sticky, and smelly. Had I been pulled over things could have been pretty interesting.

Past Christmas Classics: 2008 CHRISTMAS CARD (front) “TORNADO OF CHRISTMAS DESTRUCTION” This shot turned out more or less how we envisioned it, minus the red and white balloons, all of which blew away moments before we took our first shot. Literally, we had a helium tank and probably 50 balloons, and a big ol’ gust of wind literally blew them all away as I was setting up the camera. My biggest regret in life is not thinking fast and taking a photo of all the balloons floating away. Instead I was just walking around merrily kicking stuff out of anger.

Past Christmas Classics: 2008 CHRISTMAS CARD (front)

“TORNADO OF CHRISTMAS DESTRUCTION”

This shot turned out more or less how we envisioned it, minus the red and white balloons, all of which blew away moments before we took our first shot. Literally, we had a helium tank and probably 50 balloons, and a big ol’ gust of wind literally blew them all away as I was setting up the camera. My biggest regret in life is not thinking fast and taking a photo of all the balloons floating away. Instead I was just walking around merrily kicking stuff out of anger.