SPACE PINEAPPLE SPACE SUCKS
A few years back, I think on a Monday, Bunko and I were on a routine geological expedition somewhere, I want to say Neptune, but I can’t be sure. I think we were looking for phosphorous or something, I honestly can’t remember. Anyway, what I do remember is getting really hungry, grabbing my portable space phone, and ordering a space pizza. I asked if they could add some space pineapple to the space pizza, as I had heard good things. Unfortunately, as soon as I asked for some space pineapple, I hear Bunko yell “AGGGGHHH! PIE PLAIN! PIE PLAIN!!!”. Because Bunko always gets what Bunko wants, I reluctantly swallowed my space pride and told them to nix the space pineapple.
Once I hung up I realized that she wasn’t yelling “PIE PLAIN” at all, she was actually yelling “MY BRAIN”. Turns out, sometime during my ten second phone call, she had somehow gone and got herself abducted a skelebot (half robot, half human skeleton).
Like a space cheetah on space coffee, I immediately sprung into action. I called the pizza place back to say that it had all been a space sized misunderstanding, and that I still really wanted the space pineapple on the space pizza.
The point is this: space pineapple space sucks.
Also, Bunko’s expression in this photo is too damn good.
BUNKO FORGETS HER CHAPSTICK
As she waits to die,
she looks up at the sky,
and wonders why,
her lips are dry.
BUNKO LEAVES A MAN BEHIND
He cries for help,
she turns her head,
he’s stuck in kelp,
and left for dead.
I took this photo at least six years ago and just scanned it today. There are several hundred similar negatives that have been sitting in a box under my bed for years. It’s pathetic. And don’t get me started on getting prints made. Of all photos Vicki and I have taken together over the years, I’ve printed one, which is better than zero, but still, quite pathetic.
Anyway, if you look up pathetic in the dictionary, you’ll probably won’t even find my name, because I’m so pathetic.
IT’S A GIRL
And her name is Bunko Jr. until otherwise noted.
When I’m not…
a. trying to figure how the hell we’re gonna fit a baby in our apartment
b. planning my trip to Guatemala to punch Captain Worthless in the face for stealing my brand new portable telephone and taking it all the way to freakin’ Guatemala!!!
c. gaining weight
d. buying Vicki flowers…
this is what I’m working on. Actually, I think I can scratch “c” of the list, seeing as I can probably gain weight and use Lightroom simultaneously.
Check me out double taskin’ like a clock radio, sweet!
PLEASE BUNKO DON’T HURT ‘EM
Here’s a sneak peak at what I’m working on when I’m not working. High fives and hugs to anyone who can name the album that the title of this post is referencing.
Hint: It’s only the best album of all time and the recording artist was famous for wearing big baggy shiny pants.
NO MATTER HOW HARD SHE TRIES
Poor Bunko just can’t seem to block out the sound of the screaming baby koala bears.
Do not be fooled, Bunko does NOT find the sound to be sad or disturbing, she simply finds it to be annoying… REALLY annoying.
BUNKO UNDER PRESSURE
There are eleven baby koala bears trapped inside of this trailer. As Bunko struggles to prevent it from tumbling over, she reluctantly absorbs the collective thoughts of the baby koalas. They are thinking, “Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air was so much better once they got rid of the original Aunt Vivian”. Bunko loved the original Aunt Vivian and couldn’t stand the replacement Aunt Vivian, and as such, she considers just letting the damn thing fall.
Not Pictured: Bunko just letting the damn thing fall.
Also Not Pictured: Eleven dead baby koala bears in a pool of their own blood.