PATHETIC
I took this photo at least six years ago and just scanned it today. There are several hundred similar negatives that have been sitting in a box under my bed for years. It’s pathetic. And don’t get me started on getting prints made. Of all photos Vicki and I have taken together over the years, I’ve printed one, which is better than zero, but still, quite pathetic.
Anyway, if you look up pathetic in the dictionary, you’ll probably won’t even find my name, because I’m so pathetic.
BUNKO AND THE VERY DEAD FISH
Bunko is…
a. absorbing the final memory of the dead fish so that she can figure out who killed him. She will absolutely be seeking vengeance.
b. thinking that she just found herself some lunch!
c. trying to figure out why her magic touch has not transformed the fish into a cupcake.
d. all of the above.
Answer: Obviously “D”.
Tip: To see the dead fish in all it’s mummified glory click through to the hi-res version!
…and so it begins.
The water will soon teem with life.
To celebrate I’ll be ordering Vicki a red cap and a speedo.
The man cried ouch!
when on a spree,
he jumped the couch,
and broke his knee.
…………………………..
Yes, this gif is totally unnecessary. And yes, the original photo is much more interesting than this gif. That being said, gifs are pretty fun to make, so what the hell.
Anyway, feel free to read more poems about my pictures HERE.
FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE”
This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it.
The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had…
Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.”
Me: “Like, with a baby?”
Vicki: “Yep.”
Me: “Not a good time woman.”
COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 18 - JAPANESE SOCIETY OF LEAPFROG EXCELLENCE
I’ve gotta hand it to the good folks of Japan, they keep it real with the leapfrog well into their teenage years. In America we tend to abandon leapfrog for dodge ball in around first or second grade. As such, most American adults are absolutely terrible at jumping over their coworkers. Not to worry though, they are great at dodging flying adults, and thus injuries are quite rare.
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 44 - “ROCK CLIMBING MAN WHO MADE ME HAPPY AND SAD”
I sort of remember being all excited when I saw this guy up on the rock. I also sort of remember being all excited when I took this picture.
But here is what I remember most… looking at this picture and complaining to Vicki about the guy on the rock. I remember saying “why couldn’t he be wearing a red jacket, this photo would be so much cooler if he was in a red jacket, and where’s his winter cap, this photo would be so much cooler if he had a cozy winter cap, why did this guy ruin my photo Vicki, why???” I then told Vicki to put on my cozy winter cap and climb the rock and pose like a “little rock creature”. She took my hat but refused to climb the rock or pose like a “little rock creature”.
Still, gotta give this guy much respect for figuring out how to get up on that big ol’ rock.
PLACES OF JAPAN 15 - “A TREE, A SKY, AND AN OCEAN”
So a tree, a sky, and an ocean walk into a bar and the tree says “Damn Ocean, how’d you get so wet?”. The ocean replies “I’m made out of water you idiot, it’s pretty obvious”. As the tree attempts to think of a witty comeback, the sky says “Hey guys, how the hell did we all fit in this bar? I mean, I’m the sky, how the hell is this bar bigger than me?”. The ocean says “Good point Sky. Come to think of it, I don’t even have hands, much less a throat, how the hell am I gonna drink a beer?”. The sky says “I know, right! I don’t have hands or a throat either. What were we thinking coming to a bar. We sure botched this one fellas”. The tree lifts up his roots and says “If you’ll excuse me gentleman, I’ll be at the bar”. As the tree proceeds to soak up a Miller High Life, the sky and the ocean dejectedly play darts in the back of the bar.
PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”
Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.
Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.
I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical.
Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.
PLACES OF JAPAN 10 - “KOCHI RIVER”
Soon after I took this photo two Japanese boys, probably around 6 years old, approached me on their bikes. They stopped before me and very slowly and deliberately said “HELLO AMERICAN”. I said “HELLO” back and they repeated “HELLO”. I then slowly and deliberately said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and they laughed hysterically and drove off.
A few hours later we ran into the same boys and they very carefully and phonetically said “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and added a “HO HO HO”. They once again laughed hysterically and drove off.
I told Vicki that I was fairly certain that I could be Japan’s next big stand up comedian. She told me not to quit my day job.
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