13th July 2013

GUMMY BEAR CITY
As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye. GUMMY BEAR CITY
As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.

GUMMY BEAR CITY

As Wendy looked up at the stupid sky she wondered what would kill her first. Would it be the sea urchin she’d punched in the face just a few hours earlier? Would it be the sea urchin’s ex-wife, Wanda, seeking vengeance for her man? Or perhaps it would be the sea urchin’s illegitimate half-sea-cucumber bastard child, Todd, seeking social acceptance in an unforgiving world. Would it even be a sea urchin? Hell, would it even be be a sea creature? Maybe it’d be her ex-boyfriend, Perry Bowser? She never did acknowledge his gummy bear city. Or maybe it would be her former scuba instructor, Dale Hawaii? She never did respect his hermetically sealed speedo. Or maybe it would just be something annoying like sun burn or pink eye.

 ·  13 notes

7th July 2013

ELECTRIC RAZOR TED DANSON
Where did it all go wrong? Just an hour earlier they were making out in the back of Dave’s “research” van. Now they stand in silence, fighting not only the gravitational pull of earth, but also the gravitational pull of their heavy hearts. Perhaps Dave should’ve shaved his back before removing his hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Or perhaps Wendy should’ve explained her Ted Danson tattoo before letting Dave remove her hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Regardless, nothing but time (and maybe an electric razor) is gonna fix this thing. ELECTRIC RAZOR TED DANSON
Where did it all go wrong? Just an hour earlier they were making out in the back of Dave’s “research” van. Now they stand in silence, fighting not only the gravitational pull of earth, but also the gravitational pull of their heavy hearts. Perhaps Dave should’ve shaved his back before removing his hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Or perhaps Wendy should’ve explained her Ted Danson tattoo before letting Dave remove her hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Regardless, nothing but time (and maybe an electric razor) is gonna fix this thing.

ELECTRIC RAZOR TED DANSON

Where did it all go wrong? Just an hour earlier they were making out in the back of Dave’s “research” van. Now they stand in silence, fighting not only the gravitational pull of earth, but also the gravitational pull of their heavy hearts. Perhaps Dave should’ve shaved his back before removing his hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Or perhaps Wendy should’ve explained her Ted Danson tattoo before letting Dave remove her hermetically sealed jumpsuit? Regardless, nothing but time (and maybe an electric razor) is gonna fix this thing.

 ·  393 notes

10th August 2011

BUNKO AND THE VERY DEAD FISH
Bunko is…
a. absorbing the final memory of the dead fish so that she can figure out who killed him. She will absolutely be seeking vengeance.
b. thinking that she just found herself some lunch!
c. trying to figure out why her magic touch has not transformed the fish into a cupcake.
d. all of the above.
Answer: Obviously “D”. 
Tip: To see the dead fish in all it’s mummified glory click through to the hi-res version! BUNKO AND THE VERY DEAD FISH
Bunko is…
a. absorbing the final memory of the dead fish so that she can figure out who killed him. She will absolutely be seeking vengeance.
b. thinking that she just found herself some lunch!
c. trying to figure out why her magic touch has not transformed the fish into a cupcake.
d. all of the above.
Answer: Obviously “D”. 
Tip: To see the dead fish in all it’s mummified glory click through to the hi-res version!

BUNKO AND THE VERY DEAD FISH

Bunko is…

a. absorbing the final memory of the dead fish so that she can figure out who killed him. She will absolutely be seeking vengeance.

b. thinking that she just found herself some lunch!

c. trying to figure out why her magic touch has not transformed the fish into a cupcake.

d. all of the above.

Answer: Obviously “D”. 

Tip: To see the dead fish in all it’s mummified glory click through to the hi-res version!

 ·  19 notes

8th April 2011

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE”
This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it.
The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had…
Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.”
Me: “Like, with a baby?”
Vicki: “Yep.”
Me: “Not a good time woman.” FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE”
This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it.
The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had…
Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.”
Me: “Like, with a baby?”
Vicki: “Yep.”
Me: “Not a good time woman.”

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 09 - “PREGNANCY SCARE”

This polaroid was taken a few years back during one of our desert adventures in California. As the sun was setting we pulled over near a field and shot off our final polaroid. I’m not quite sure what we were going for with this one, but I rather like it.

The distraught looks on our underexposed faces makes me think the following conversation is probably being had…

Vicki: “I think I might be pregnant.”

Me: “Like, with a baby?”

Vicki: “Yep.”

Me: “Not a good time woman.”

 ·  34 notes

30th March 2011

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 18 - JAPANESE SOCIETY OF LEAPFROG EXCELLENCE
I’ve gotta hand it to the good folks of Japan, they keep it real with the leapfrog well into their teenage years. In America we tend to abandon leapfrog for dodge ball in around first or second grade. As such, most American adults are absolutely terrible at jumping over their coworkers. Not to worry though, they are great at dodging flying adults, and thus injuries are quite rare. COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 18 - JAPANESE SOCIETY OF LEAPFROG EXCELLENCE
I’ve gotta hand it to the good folks of Japan, they keep it real with the leapfrog well into their teenage years. In America we tend to abandon leapfrog for dodge ball in around first or second grade. As such, most American adults are absolutely terrible at jumping over their coworkers. Not to worry though, they are great at dodging flying adults, and thus injuries are quite rare.

COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 18 - JAPANESE SOCIETY OF LEAPFROG EXCELLENCE

I’ve gotta hand it to the good folks of Japan, they keep it real with the leapfrog well into their teenage years. In America we tend to abandon leapfrog for dodge ball in around first or second grade. As such, most American adults are absolutely terrible at jumping over their coworkers. Not to worry though, they are great at dodging flying adults, and thus injuries are quite rare.

 ·  165 notes

27th March 2011

PLACES OF JAPAN 15 - “A TREE, A SKY, AND AN OCEAN”
So a tree, a sky, and an ocean walk into a bar and the tree says “Damn Ocean, how’d you get so wet?”. The ocean replies “I’m made out of water you idiot, it’s pretty obvious”. As the tree attempts to think of a witty comeback, the sky says “Hey guys, how the hell did we all fit in this bar? I mean, I’m the sky, how the hell is this bar bigger than me?”. The ocean says “Good point Sky. Come to think of it, I don’t even have hands, much less a throat, how the hell am I gonna drink a beer?”. The sky says “I know, right! I don’t have hands or a throat either. What were we thinking coming to a bar. We sure botched this one fellas”. The tree lifts up his roots and says “If you’ll excuse me gentleman, I’ll be at the bar”. As the tree proceeds to soak up a Miller High Life, the sky and the ocean dejectedly play darts in the back of the bar. PLACES OF JAPAN 15 - “A TREE, A SKY, AND AN OCEAN”
So a tree, a sky, and an ocean walk into a bar and the tree says “Damn Ocean, how’d you get so wet?”. The ocean replies “I’m made out of water you idiot, it’s pretty obvious”. As the tree attempts to think of a witty comeback, the sky says “Hey guys, how the hell did we all fit in this bar? I mean, I’m the sky, how the hell is this bar bigger than me?”. The ocean says “Good point Sky. Come to think of it, I don’t even have hands, much less a throat, how the hell am I gonna drink a beer?”. The sky says “I know, right! I don’t have hands or a throat either. What were we thinking coming to a bar. We sure botched this one fellas”. The tree lifts up his roots and says “If you’ll excuse me gentleman, I’ll be at the bar”. As the tree proceeds to soak up a Miller High Life, the sky and the ocean dejectedly play darts in the back of the bar.

PLACES OF JAPAN 15 - “A TREE, A SKY, AND AN OCEAN”

So a tree, a sky, and an ocean walk into a bar and the tree says “Damn Ocean, how’d you get so wet?”. The ocean replies “I’m made out of water you idiot, it’s pretty obvious”. As the tree attempts to think of a witty comeback, the sky says “Hey guys, how the hell did we all fit in this bar? I mean, I’m the sky, how the hell is this bar bigger than me?”. The ocean says “Good point Sky. Come to think of it, I don’t even have hands, much less a throat, how the hell am I gonna drink a beer?”. The sky says “I know, right! I don’t have hands or a throat either. What were we thinking coming to a bar. We sure botched this one fellas”. The tree lifts up his roots and says “If you’ll excuse me gentleman, I’ll be at the bar”. As the tree proceeds to soak up a Miller High Life, the sky and the ocean dejectedly play darts in the back of the bar.

 ·  294 notes

19th March 2011

PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”
Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.
Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.
I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 
Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right. PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”
Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.
Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.
I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 
Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.

PLACES OF JAPAN 12 - “KOCHI BEACH IS BETTER THAN OCEAN CITY”

Vicki and I spent most of our time in Kochi following Vicki’s dad around. He’s a rather quiet guy and English is definitely his second language, so sometimes I didn’t quite know what was happening.

Anyway, on this particular day all I knew is that we were going to see the “Kochi Aquarium” (This was a favor to me as I’m a big fan of any organism that can breathe underwater). So when I hopped out of the bus and walked up some steps and saw this beautiful beach scene my mind was blown. I didn’t even realize we were near a beach, much less a beach with epic cliffs and lush shrubbery.

I should mention that the only beach I’d really been to before this is the rather eclectic beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have many fond memories of getting stung by jelly fish and getting sand in my bathing suit during summer vacations to Ocean City, and Thrashers Fries are the best fries ever… but never in my life have I seen such beautiful blue water as I did in Kochi. It was quite magical. 

Oh, and if you’re curious, the Kochi Aquarium is just outside of this frame to the right.

 ·  59 notes

17th March 2011

PLACES OF JAPAN 10 - “KOCHI RIVER”
Soon after I took this photo two Japanese boys, probably around 6 years old, approached me on their bikes. They stopped before me and very slowly and deliberately said “HELLO AMERICAN”. I said “HELLO” back and they repeated “HELLO”. I then slowly and deliberately said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and they laughed hysterically and drove off.
A few hours later we ran into the same boys and they very carefully and phonetically said “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and added a “HO HO HO”. They once again laughed hysterically and drove off.
I told Vicki that I was fairly certain that I could be Japan’s next big stand up comedian. She told me not to quit my day job.  PLACES OF JAPAN 10 - “KOCHI RIVER”
Soon after I took this photo two Japanese boys, probably around 6 years old, approached me on their bikes. They stopped before me and very slowly and deliberately said “HELLO AMERICAN”. I said “HELLO” back and they repeated “HELLO”. I then slowly and deliberately said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and they laughed hysterically and drove off.
A few hours later we ran into the same boys and they very carefully and phonetically said “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and added a “HO HO HO”. They once again laughed hysterically and drove off.
I told Vicki that I was fairly certain that I could be Japan’s next big stand up comedian. She told me not to quit my day job. 

PLACES OF JAPAN 10 - “KOCHI RIVER”

Soon after I took this photo two Japanese boys, probably around 6 years old, approached me on their bikes. They stopped before me and very slowly and deliberately said “HELLO AMERICAN”. I said “HELLO” back and they repeated “HELLO”. I then slowly and deliberately said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and they laughed hysterically and drove off.

A few hours later we ran into the same boys and they very carefully and phonetically said “MERRY CHRISTMAS”. I said “MERRY CHRISTMAS” and added a “HO HO HO”. They once again laughed hysterically and drove off.

I told Vicki that I was fairly certain that I could be Japan’s next big stand up comedian. She told me not to quit my day job. 

 ·  21 notes
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