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16 posts tagged super hero
16 posts tagged super hero
APOCALYPTIC BUNKO
Story:
In August of 1992 Bunko the Brave travelled to the Salton Sea to destroy the man who had stolen not only her Fruit Roll-Up, but also her heart (not to mention her left eye). His name was Ramos, and in middle school he was the lead singer in a glam rock band called “The Glitter Pancake Rebellion”. At the sixth grade talent show he unveiled Clean Sheets are the Best, an epic power ballad about the awesome power of clean sheets. Bunko loved nothing more than sleeping on clean cozy sheets, and as such, her heart swooned for the young Ramos.
The next day at recess Bunko demanded that Ramos be her boyfriend. Ramos told Bunko that he was pretty sure that he was gay, but Bunko wasn’t having it. She immediately declared that they were going steady and that she was ready to have a bunch of babies.
Anyway, after a week of being bossed around by young Bunko, Ramos decided that enough was enough. When Bunko was once again sent to the Principal’s Office for giving Gus, the class Gerbil, a mohawk, Ramos made his move. He broke into Bunko’s “Knight Rider” lunch box and stole her grape Fruit Roll-Up and gave it to Kenny (Bunko’s nemesis and his secret crush).
Long story short, lunch rolled around and Bunko went ballistic when she found out that her one true love had stolen her grape Fruit Roll-Up. She threw her thermos at Kenny’s head and attempted to give Ramos an Indian Rug Burn. Unfortunately she did not take into account the the glue stick in Ramos’ left hand, which he reluctantly shoved deep into her left eye socket.
She was sent to detention for the next fifteen years and upon release she set out to the Salton Sea to destroy Ramos (apparently that’s where he lived). Unfortunately Ramos, as well as most of the town, was long gone. All she found was an empty bottle of beer, an umbrella, and some dead fish.
Location:
Apocalyptic Bombay Beach at the Salton Sea, CA
Tech Specs:
Format: 35mm
Camera: Nikon FM10
Film Stock: Fuji Velvia 1011
Processing: Cross Processed
Behind-the-Scenes:
Ramos and Kenny fell in love and ran away together to Sweeden. Together with their seven Newfoundland puppies they run a cozy bed and breakfast where the sheets are always clean and the pancakes sparkle with glitter.
See the whole show here. Hopefully if I get my act together I’ll write some poems about some of these.
BUNKO UNDER PRESSURE
There are eleven baby koala bears trapped inside of this trailer. As Bunko struggles to prevent it from tumbling over, she reluctantly absorbs the collective thoughts of the baby koalas. They are thinking, “Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air was so much better once they got rid of the original Aunt Vivian”. Bunko loved the original Aunt Vivian and couldn’t stand the replacement Aunt Vivian, and as such, she considers just letting the damn thing fall.
Not Pictured: Bunko just letting the damn thing fall.
Also Not Pictured: Eleven dead baby koala bears in a pool of their own blood.
BUNKO THE BRAVE READS A FAN LETTER
It reads as follows…
Dear Bunko the Brave, you are my hero! Every time my teacher puts me in time out for trying to set Bob the Bunny free I punch her in the face! Oh, and guess what, yesterday I threw my desk through the damn window because I thought to myself, “what would Bunko do if ‘the man’ made her share her crayons with a boy?”. I can’t wait for this kindergarten hell to end.
Over and out,
Coco the Confident
P.S. I want to get a tattoo of you eating pancakes on my bicep but my mom says you don’t eat pancakes. That made me cry. Do you eat pancakes Bunko??? I sure hope so.
NOOOO BUNKO DON’T TOUCH IT!!!
Little known fact: Anything Bunko touches turns into a cupcake.
This sounds awesome until you eat the cupcake and find out little known fact number two.
Little known fact number two: Bunko’s cupcakes are filled with highly addictive and extremely contagious baby koala bear venom.
When Captain America retired he gained some weight,
married a woman he didn’t really love, and had a couple of slacker kids with absolutely zero super hero potential. While he obviously regretted all of these things, his biggest regret in life was trading in his sweet motorcycle for this used mini van so that he could drive his chubby kids to soccer practice, where he would dejectedly watch them pick grass and cry about having to exercise.
TOM ALMON - THE RELUCTANT HERO
Hey Dad, thanks so much for reluctantly portraying the mighty Papa Nemo in one of my student films many years ago. Although you were blessed with the coveted lead role of a community hero with the incredible ability to jump off high dives and catch beach balls while in mid-air, I realize that you were still nonetheless…
a. extremely pissed off the entire time,
b. more embarrassed than you’d ever been in your entire life,
and
c. quickly realizing that your son was “no Spielberg, that’s for sure”.
Yet for some reason you stuck with it and saw the whole damn thing through till the bitter end, and that’s saying a lot considering we had to shoot your dramatic death scene in front of the entire UMBC women’s swim team. Hell, I even I almost jumped ship that day, and all I had to do was hold a camera.
So yeah, if dads are measured by their ability to put up with their kid’s stupid art projects than you’ve gotta be the best dad in America. Thanks man.
Anyway, here’s a few behind-the-scenes pictures of my Dad as Papa Nemo taken on the set of of my student film Nomar Number Three.
If you’d like to read a bit more about Nomar Number Three click here.
My mom is…
a) the most amazing hula hooper on the planet.
b) the absolute worst hula hooper in the universe.
c) an average hula hooper.
Answer: All I know is it’s definitely not “c”.
My mom on a moped, circa 2002.
Can your mom tame a moped? I doubt it. It’s all good though, she still knew how to make a baby, which I’d imagine is way harder than learning how to ride a moped.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the ladies who make babies!
PEOPLE OF JAPAN 23 - “MRS. CLAUS”
If this woman traded her apron for a cape she’d be a super hero for sure. She looks like she’s flying.
