When Captain America retired he gained some weight,
married a woman he didn’t really love, and had a couple of slacker kids with absolutely zero super hero potential. While he obviously regretted all of these things, his biggest regret in life was trading in his sweet motorcycle for this used mini van so that he could drive his chubby kids to soccer practice, where he would dejectedly watch them pick grass and cry about having to exercise.
COOL STUFF IN JAPAN 15 - “IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER”
If you don’t know what famous SNL sketch is being referenced by my title than you are most likely a delinquent kid who could use a visit from motivation speaker Matt Foley.
I’m embarrassed to even write this as I love my wife, but not only did Vicki NOT get the reference, she also went on to add that the van in this photo is nowhere near a river. I clearly married a delinquent who likes to rub it in. Damn.