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135 posts tagged vicki

Jul
23

VICKI BUILDS A “JET FIRE” GLIDER

Nothing funny, clever, ironic, or witty about this one. Just my awesome wife, Vicki, demonstrating how to build and tame a “Jet Fire” Glider. Ameila Earhart would be proud. 

Actually, the ending is kind of funny because the Glider clearly crashes.

My favorite part is when she talks about “the canopy, with the little pilot inside”.

Finally, I’m not sure if I mentioned this here before, but the reason I married Vicki had nothing to do with her pretty elbows or yummy earlobes, it was all about her insane glider making skills.

Jul
13

AMERICA RUNS ON FUNKIN! This one time Vicki and I wanted to make a funny card for my cousin Matt, who was stationed in Afghanistan at the time. This is what we came up with. Oh, Matt’s last name is Funk, which probably helps explain things a bit. Also, when November rolled around and Matt was still stuck over there for Thanksgiving, I made him a very, very, very bad music video. I was going to post it here but my file appears to be corrupted, so I guess I’ll just have to save that gem for another time.

AMERICA RUNS ON FUNKIN!

This one time Vicki and I wanted to make a funny card for my cousin Matt, who was stationed in Afghanistan at the time. This is what we came up with.

Oh, Matt’s last name is Funk, which probably helps explain things a bit.

Also, when November rolled around and Matt was still stuck over there for Thanksgiving, I made him a very, very, very bad music video. I was going to post it here but my file appears to be corrupted, so I guess I’ll just have to save that gem for another time.

Jul
12

VICKI DOESN’T SHARE THEM APPLES This one time Vicki and I were at a carnival and I spent my last twenty bucks attempting to win her a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee (I did not succeed). As we were leaving the carnival she got herself a delectable candy apple. I asked her if I could have a bite. She said “You can have a bite when I have a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee”.  The next day I went out and got myself a squirt gun and a wooden bird feeder. I spent the next 364 days shooting that squirt gun through the little hole of the bird feeder. We went back to the carnival and I easily won the stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee. I handed it to Vicki and asked for a bite of her candy apple. She replied “I don’t wan’t a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee, I want a stuffed baby bumble bee dressed like porcupine. No bite for you!!!” Anyway, the most amazing part of this whole story is that she was still chewing on that same damn candy apple nearly a year later.

VICKI DOESN’T SHARE THEM APPLES

This one time Vicki and I were at a carnival and I spent my last twenty bucks attempting to win her a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee (I did not succeed). As we were leaving the carnival she got herself a delectable candy apple. I asked her if I could have a bite. She said “You can have a bite when I have a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee”. 

The next day I went out and got myself a squirt gun and a wooden bird feeder. I spent the next 364 days shooting that squirt gun through the little hole of the bird feeder. We went back to the carnival and I easily won the stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee. I handed it to Vicki and asked for a bite of her candy apple. She replied “I don’t wan’t a stuffed baby porcupine dressed like a bumble bee, I want a stuffed baby bumble bee dressed like porcupine. No bite for you!!!”

Anyway, the most amazing part of this whole story is that she was still chewing on that same damn candy apple nearly a year later.

Jul
11

THE TIME VICKI ALMOST ATE RIGBY This one time Vicki and I got lost in a snow storm while walking Rigby. After about ten minutes Vicki’s tummy began to rumble and she suggested that we eat Rigby. Rigby quickly yelled “Damn woman! It’s only been ten minutes! At least eat some snow before you eat YOUR F-ING PUPPY!!!”. An awkward silence soon ensued where they both glared at me for support. Eventually I reluctantly mumbled “he’s kind of gotta point”. I’ve been sleeping on the couch ever since.

THE TIME VICKI ALMOST ATE RIGBY

This one time Vicki and I got lost in a snow storm while walking Rigby. After about ten minutes Vicki’s tummy began to rumble and she suggested that we eat Rigby. Rigby quickly yelled “Damn woman! It’s only been ten minutes! At least eat some snow before you eat YOUR F-ING PUPPY!!!”. An awkward silence soon ensued where they both glared at me for support. Eventually I reluctantly mumbled “he’s kind of gotta point”.

I’ve been sleeping on the couch ever since.

Jun
06

Jun
05

Tanner! Dude! Start helping with chores so Vicki can start a Tumblr as well!

Bunko The Brave she may be, but super duper blue hair doesn't magically get the vacuuming done. Dang.

Anonymous

I see what you’re saying but it’s just not logical. If Bunko the Brave (a.k.a. Vicki) starts a tumblr one of two things will happen…

1. No one will like any of her stuff and I’ll feel guilty

2. Her blog will be way more popular than mine and I’ll feel jealous

As you can see, neither option works to my advantage, and as such I have absolutely zero motivation to help Bunko clean our apartment.

Note: Whether she likes it or not, I’m pretty sure Vicki will come to be known solely as Bunko in the near future.

Jun
03

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 15 - TANNER HEARTS VICKI

In June of 2004 Vicki paid a visit to my place and we burnt off a few sparklers. I remember acquiring the sparklers from a guy at school named Dale for five bucks and a half-eaten pack of Skittles. As much as it killed me having to give up the last of my Skittles, the deal was definitely worth it as it gave Vicki and I something to do besides make out and/or throw rocks at stop signs. Here’s a few photos documenting our sparkler fueled night…

I like how my feet appear to be orbs of light. Way to be New Balance reflectors! 

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Vicki in the thick of it. How her arms and face didn’t get burnt to all hell is still a mystery to me.

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Vicki looking like a young half asian Hermione Granger with her wizard wand.

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I don’t really have anything to write about this one except that Vicki’s pants look really comfortable.

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Vicki perfecting her “sparkler hula hoop”.

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I wish I could still fit into that shirt.

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Oh no, we’re out of sparklers! Should we go make out or throw rocks at stop signs?

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Thought this one looked kind of neat.

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Same with this one.

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This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shi… damn, sparklers don’t shine too long.

May
30

May
27

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!” So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project. Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks! Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks. Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?

FLASHBACK FRIDAY 14 - “GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR SKELEBOT ATTACK!!!”

So a few years back Vicki and I jumped into our space suits and headed out to the Salton Sea to conduct some research for a science project we were doing. Once there, however, we realized that we had no test tubes or beakers, much less a hypothesis, and thus mutually decided to abort the whole damn project.

Anyway, as we stood quietly in the shame of having driven 300 miles into the desert for nothing, we were suddenly attacked by a pack of wild skelebots. What is a skelebot you ask? Well, a skelebot is a skeleton with a robot head. Part skeleton, part robot, all trouble… that’s what a skelebot is. Seriously, they will not stop attacking until they have all of your socks!

Anyway, we documented the entire attack on Fuji Provia with our 35mm panoramic camera. Unfortunately I’ve never scanned a single frame because I’m worthless. So for now these mediocre polaroids will have to do. As you can see, the skelebot eventually captured Vicki and is attempting to read her mind so that he can figure out where she’s hiding all her socks.

Looking back these photos make me a bit sad, as they take me back to that special time in my life where I had comfortable cozy socks. Damn you skelebots!!! Give us back our socks! Seriously, do you even wear them or do you just get some sick pleasure from watching our naked feet shiver in the cold? What’s the deal?