HERB & MARY
On a Saturday morning in 1985 Herb and Mary drove to Sears and purchased their very first color television set. They quickly zoomed home in their Chevy Chevette so that they could catch their favorite cartoon, The Smurfs.
Once home, Herb struggled to carry the TV up the stairs as Mary made some popcorn. Once the popcorn was popped Herb plugged in the TV and they sat back to enjoy The Smurfs. What they saw was shocking in the worst imaginable way, it quite literally turned their world upside down…
You see, up until this point Herb and Mary had only seen the Smurfs in black and white, and as such, Herb had always assumed that they (the smurfs) were brown, and Mary had always assumed that they were purple. They simply could not wrap their heads around the newfound “blueness” of the Smurfs. Their brains quite literally could not process a “blue” they had never believed to be true.
Refusing to smurf in a world where Smurfs were blue, Herb and Mary quickly smurfed their brand new Magnavox on fire and smurfed it out the window. They spent the rest of the day smurfing around with the cardboard box that had once held their brand new Magnovox.
* See the whole show here and stay tuned for some poems.
FLASHBACK FRIDAY 04 - “BROKEN POLAROIDS AND BROKEN HEARTS”
My apologies for this belated Flashback Friday. I have no excuse unless you count the drunk unicorn that attacked me with scissors on Friday.
Anyway, a few years back I made my very first eBay purchase… a Polaroid SX-70 in “perfect working condition” from some dude in Kansas. As soon as it arrived I ran out and got myself a pack of Polaroid Time Zero film and then rushed to Philly and took this photograph of my sisters. Had my sisters been nightmare banshee poltergeist demon women from hell I would have said that the camera worked flawlessly. Unfortunately my sisters were just regular humans at the time and thus this disturbingly blurry photo meant that my camera was busted.
The only good thing to come out of this entire experience is that I learned first hand never to trust anyone from Kansas.
Past Christmas Classics: RETRO SANTA ON GEOFF’S HEAD
No. 03 - “CHRISTMAS DREAMS AND LASER BEAMS”
This one’s pretty similar to the first one but I figured I’d post it for two reasons…
1. I’m rather fond of the title
2. It’s the only one left
Past Christmas Classics: RETRO SANTA ON GEOFF’S HEAD
No. 02 - “THE MERRY MECHANISM”
Pros: Hmmm… that’s a tough one. Are there any?
Cons: It’s freaking disturbing and has zero Christmas magic.
Past Christmas Classics: RETRO SANTA ON GEOFF’S HEAD
No. 01 - “SWEATER MAKES IT BETTER”
Not really sure what to say about the next few photos I’m going to post here, except for that once I realized this vintage Santa lawn ornament could fit on my friend Geoff’s head I got really excited.
Past Christmas Classics: 2008 CHRISTMAS CARD REJECT PHOTOS
No. 03 - “D’OH CHRISTMAS TREE”
This photo is a pretty good representation, albeit a bit exaggerated, of daily life in Tanner and Vicki land.
Also, high fives to anyone who can find Rigby in this picture.
His mother lied,
and stole his drugs,
when she died,
he got her mugs.
*see the whole show here.
She got bad grades,
and might have aids,
but in her cherry shades,
she’s the ace of spades.
LINK
Loading...